We Made It

Wanted to drop a quick note to you guys and say we made it to TX.

We had a some tense moments in Chicago when they told us our connecting flight had been cancelled, but Noah really came through and scored us the sympathy vote and landed us another flight late last night and got us home only two hours later than normal.

So with that said, we are home. Already have 6 Dr. Peppers and hit Whataburger on the way home from the airport.

On Our Way and the Internet isn't Helping

Howdy Folks, (the Texan in me is coming back the closer to getting there I am)

Quick update:
We are packed and leaving tomorrow morning. That means we will be arriving at 10:30pm tomorrow night at DFW on the AA flight from Chicago.

We've been offline for two days, because apparently I didn't pay the internet bill soon enough, so viola! You see, if you are lazy in the States, coming overseas doesn't change a thing!

So sorry about all the emails that we haven't replied to yet. Our internet access will be hit and miss depending where we are in the States.

BUT the important thing is that tomorrow night we will be in Texas. The land of pork, big steaks and Dr. Pepper on tap.

We love you guys and hope to see you soon,
CB&N

Bullion Christmas 06

Where am I?

Last night we made a family trip to the mall. So with empty pockets we headed to the mall to...well basically to get out of the house.
The mall was packed. Full of people!

But I thought I would provide a list of things I saw last night at the mall.
1. Arab Santa ringing a bell near the exit. Not sure if he is Salvation Army or what. But come on, a Muslim Salvation Army?
2. A huge, dancing blow-up figurine of Frosty.
3. A huge Christmas tree that looked very similar to the bell towers at HPU.
4. A face painting booth.
5. A place to sit in Santa's lap
6. A kioske just for gift wrapping.

While that is nothing strange to y'all. (Well I guess an Arab Santa wouldn't be the norm) This isn't suppose to be happening. Let me remind you that I live in the Middle East. The Muslim Middle East. Here certain very strict Muslims families don't even celebrate their own birthdays because, "those Christians celebrate a birthday in Dec."

You smell what I am steppin' in?

We walked around confused most of the night.

With that said, we are looking forward to being back in Texas next week for a change. Then we can actually enjoy the Christmas decorations and not feel like we somehow were transported into the Twilight Zone.

Helping With the Tree

Noah helped us put up the Christmas tree a couple of weeks ago. We're not sure he really cares, except that it is just something else we won't let him chew on.

The Three Fs

Forty, Fat, and Female

Anybody know what the 3 Fs are used for? Its the rule of thumb for gall bladder patients. Over 40, over weight, and it happens in females. So that's normal.

I don't usually disperge alot about my health on here because, well, you don't care. I mean, really who comes to a blog to read about someone else's stuffy nose?

But since about a week before Turkey Day I haven't been feeling good. So I finally made it to the doctor. Those of you that know me, know that I must have been on the verge of death to ever go to a doctor, but I went. He said, "you look healthy to me, maybe it's a blood test you need." So head to the clinic and get the blood test and pee in a cup and get the results and ......

nothing. I am healthy.

So if I am healthy, WHY DON'T I FEEL HEALTHY!!!!

So we figured it was Mono and it just hadn't shown up on the test yet and we waited around for a couple of weeks until yesterday. B told me that I needed to go back to the doctor. I told her okay, yeah, yeah whatever, of course Dear, and then we went to bed.....

And then came the pain..... I started with these really bad pains along my right side under my rib cage. It felt like the neighborhood bully was in my rib cage using whatever was below it as a trampolene. Bad times.

Well, after three hours I decide that I needed to go to the ER. AFTER THREE HOURS! I've got to be retarded. I should have left after 3 minutes.

So I get to the ER, and they check me in and the doc comes in and starts poking my organs and hit my gall bladder and I freaked. I thought he stabbed me it hurt so bad. But long story short, they gave me some really gooooooooood pain killers and told me to come back in the morning for some abdominal ultrasound action.

So this morning, we headed down to radiology for the u/s and what do they find? I've got gall stones! I am 24 and not fat and not female.

Hello my name is Clayton and I am a victim of gall stones.

So the morale of the story? Go to the doctor when your wife says so!

Make Us Feel at Home

The three of us were sitting on this couch discussing how much we and America have both changed in our absence. So we have decided to give you a list of some things that you and yours can do while we are with you to make us feel a little more "at home."

1. When we ride with you, drive as fast as you possibly can showing no regard whatsoever to stop-signs, traffic-jams, speed-bumps or small children.

2. If we come into your store to buy something; please argue with us for fifteen minutes about the price listed on the box.

3. Every time you see us with Noah, you can tell us what bad parents we are and why we are messing up our child according to the most outlandish "old wives tale" you know.

4. After we say hello to you, please tell us how good our English is. Then after another five minutes of conversation, tell us how bad our English is and that we need to practice more.

5. Please park your shopping cart sideways to block the entire aisle at the supermarket, then glare and grumble under your breath when we ask you to get by because you had to move.

6. Become a chain smoker and try to smoke as many cigarettes as possible while around us while blowing smoke in our faces. This is a good option anywhere: your house, our house, an enclosed car, the supermarket, the hair salon, the mall, etc. Especially if there is a "No Smoking" sign nearby.

7. Whenever you see Noah, pick him up and carry him off, then pass him off to someone you don't know, who will pass him on, so that when we see him again he is with a complete stranger.

8. Constantly share with us your political views, especially opinions on Bush, Jews, and Americans ruining the world, and don't stop even if we agree with you to try to get you to be quiet.

9. When you find out we are Americans tell us about your brother in Chicago (or Houston, or Detroit, or Florida) and ask us if we know him.

10. You can sneak into our house five times a day, starting at 5 in the morning and shout at us with a bullhorn, "Allah Wa Akbar!" And if it is Friday you can add your angry voice and go up several decibels.

11. You can delete the "P" from your vocabulary and exchange it with a "B." So please offer us "Bebsi and Bizza" and let us play "Butt-Butt Golv."

12. Have a meter installed in your car.

13. When you see us kiss us on both cheeks repeatedly, but don't hug us.

14. Feel free to throw your trash wherever is suitable and easy for you: our front yard, the street, in our mailbox, in our backyard.

15. Leave all your trash and left-over food strung out all over your table and on the floor surrounding your table whenever you eat out so that someone else can clean up your mess.

16. Please serve us hot tea and coffee whenever we see you, and if we refuse fill our cups anyway and make us drink some more. This method can also be used with food, until we have consumed at least 3 plate fulls.

17. In a restaurant please offer us a choice of several options, and when we make our choice, tell us, "Sorry, we don't have it." Or better yet, advertise your special, and when we order it, tell us, "We don't serve that, it is just a nice picture."

18. Please be at least an hour late to all events. To make us feel even more at home, come several hours late, or not at all.

We look forward to seeing you guys soon, less than two weeks now!

Coming Home

Happy Almost, One-Day Away from December Day.

Quick update on our lifes.
25 days till Christmas.
21 days until the Arabic bear stops eating us this semester.
14 actual days left where we actually have to see and interact with the great, ugly beast.

On the 21st we are flying home for a 3 week vacation. By flying home, that is Brownwood, Midland, Amarillo, and DFW Texas.

Here is the deal. I want to say this very nicely. Because I love all of you very very very much. We are no longer light travelers. We have a kid. A kid that has to have diapers, blankets, extra clothes, chew toys, extra chew toys, back up diapers and blankets, a specialized car seat, and a lot of love and affection.

Therefore, if you want to see us. Who am I kidding? If you want to see Noah. You can come to us when we are in Brownwood or DFW. We will try to work out a time when you all can come hang at either my parent's casa or B's parent's casa. sound good?

So we will be around DFW from the 30ish til the 3rd or 4ish and in Bwood until the 8th and then we hop the pond on the 9th.

Hope to see you soon!
Noah's Father.

All in a Day's Work

Noah is a multi-talented babe. Today he helped Clayton build shelves. That is right, he got his handy dandy velour construction outfit on and went to work. After trying to gnaw on the hammer, the shelves, the screws, the drill, and Clayton, we made an executive decision to make him the contractor and shelf overseer. He sat on the shelves to weight them down while his dad secured them into the hangers. Ah, what a life. Overall he was fairly happy with the way they turned out.

Lift Up Your Head!

Here is a little something to brighten your day. Noah has been able to lift up his head for awhile now, but it just took us a while to catch it on video. So here is Noah.

Lift Up Your Head!

Monday Through Friday Dirt

To kick this off right you need to know several things about our life here.

Number one, we get two cubic meters of water a week. That is about 500 gallons of water. When its out, its out. So ever Wednesday the water comes, and it will fill up the tank as long as there is space for it. That means as long as we use the water on Wednesday it keeps coming. So theoritically we can use as much water on Wednesday and never run out, because it will refill itself on Wednesday. So Wednesday is know very lovingly around our house as Water Day. Water Day means the laundry is done and we can take long showers and leave the water on when we brush our teeth and all sorts of great, wasteful things.

Number two, we have central heating here in this house. It's not at all like central heating in the states though. It's a radiator system. You flip a switch and the boiler kicks in and burns diesel fuel and heats up the water and sends it through the pipes and heats the radiators in the rooms, if you turn them on, and then there is heat. It also heats up the water so you can have hot water in the kitchen and the shower. We don't turn in on but maybe a couple hours a day because it takes alot of fuel to do that. We have a 250 gallon diesel tank and to fill it up costs around 450 dollars. savvy?

Number three, it gets cold here. I know you think Middle East and you think of deserts and camels and terrorists, but it gets cold. We had three snow days from school last year. It is COLD!!! So heat in a house is a must, considering they don't use insulation!

Tayyib, here we go.

Monday - the family bathes. Noah, B, me, the works. Good day.
Tuesday - wake up late, go to bed exhausted. No showers. But no problem, because tomorrow is WATER DAY!! yay! Hot, long showers for everybody.
Wednesday - 8pm, we flip the switch because the house is cold and we want hot water for showers. 8:30 the radiators are heating up, so we are sitting watching a movie. After the movie we'll take showers. 9pm, the switch is still on and the radiators are cold. Booty cold. Check the water in the sink....cold. in the shower.....really cold. Must have run out of fuel, but its too late to do anything about it. So go to bed cold and dirty.
Thursday - get ahold of the guy to buy more fuel. Get it. Turn on the fuel that night, because again...it's cold and we are dirty. Nothing. It is a mystery how the water from the shower could be below zero and not formed ice. Again too late to do anything. We go to bed very cold and very dirty.
Today - get ahold of our landlord to see what to do about the problem with the boiler or the pump. He says don't worry, He will come, I just need to bleed the line of air. Okay, so we wait. He finally gets there around dark. Did I mention we are still cold and dirty? He comes and fixes it and now. I am sitting in my living room warm and very, very clean. Not only that, but my entire family. We are an entire family of clean, non-smelly, warm, non-shivering, happy, smiling-again people.

No, this isn't a normal week. Usually we are clean people. But I thought you might like to here the story.

Got Nothing, So Here is Noah!

I just sat down here to write something witty and unbelievably creative, but I got nothing, so I'll go the safe route and post pics of Noah. He is always a crowd pleaser.

We are officialy NOT cool anymore.

So today being Friday, the day of rest, we went out to lunch and the three of us walked to Starbucks for some "chill time." Well, I guess to say "the three of us walked" would be a lie. Two of us walked and Noah was carried.

*sidenote: Did you ever think how weird it would look to someone not from planet Earth to witness parents and infants. Think about it. I can hear them talking to each other. "It is strange, the small one seems to be their leader. He moans and speaks in a strange language, but the two larger ones tend to him and carry him around. They do all that he bids. The small one doesn't seem that smart either, he drools on himself and can't control his bodily functions, but still the larger ones obey him."

Sorry, back to why we aren't that cool.

So we are in Starbucks. Starbucks is the "trendy, western" place to hang out here. So you will see the 20 something crowds hanging around dressed more in style and western then we do. Its a place for quiet, rest, "in-depth" conversations between singles and business associates.

Well, we order and B and the shorty head upstairs. I grab our coffee and head upstairs and I see B sitting at a table by the window. We've got a small table with two cushy chairs and a poof. Is poof the right word? Its a big round thing that is actually a chair but with no back or armrests. It is a really comfy foot stool or a good chair. Well Noah had claimed the poof. He was asleep wrapped in a blanket taking up the poof. So at a glance you would see a couple hanging out chatting about something "sophisticated." That is, until you see the wee small drooling kid snoozin' on the poof.

It was great. People hanging out talking about "important" things and being all cool and then there is B and I with a kid conked out on the poof. We've officially hit the next stage in life. Which by the "single, 20 something crowd" isn't cool.

So by the official guide to coolness, you don't bring your kid to Starbucks. So....that's it. Aliens think we're strange and we no longer fit into the Starbucks crowd. What a day! :)

Singing Lessons Video

Please please forgive this post. To watch the video is to listen to me sing, which can damage your hearing, but Noah singing is much better, so tune him in and tune me out.

This was on the tail end of a 30 minute jam session we had today.

Singing Lessons Video

how?

i am here with noah on my shoulder pounding out all off this with one hand in the dark. i am trying to convince a wide-awake baby he is, in fact, is actually tired, so i, whom for sure is, in fact, tired can go to sleep.
i know i owe you guys two more chapters from the book. i know i owe you more pics/posts and videos. and i know i probably owe most of you money too. they're coming. well not the money, but the other stuff probably.
how do you get anything done with a baby? i mean i am sure it will get better and less time consuming, it has too right? but ...... i mean, even when there is a hour of free time, all i can do is gu tu sleep.
so....it took me so long to type this with one hand noah feel asleep from boredom.

sooo...
goodnight and good luck.

Signal Team Photo

This is the final post on Signal, the Bad News Bears meet the Sandlot meets Major League. All the photos and trophies came in so we picked them up and will distribute them to the team. I was so relieved when I saw that all the trophies were the same. I had feared that consolation ribbons were in our future, and thank goodness we didn't get a "4th place" trophy. Most of my team didn't know that we lost every game. They didn't know enough of the rules to figure out who won most times, so the trophies will throw them off the trail for a bit longer hopefully.

In reflection though, I would do it again in a heartbeat. Coaching non-competive, clueless munchkins is far better than playing and I enjoyed doing it. So, stayed tune next spring for season 2.

Chapter 2

The Stewardess, the Dragon, and the Upset Criminal

Now, this very well could end up as one of those, “you had to be there” kindof things, but I am going to try to depict these events as they happened. First off, you must know that in order to learn a new word, you need to use it. It’s like meeting someone and trying to remember their name. It helps solidify it in your brain if you can use their name in a sentence as soon as you learn it.

So, with that said, here are the words I learned the day before or earlier in class: atonement, instruments of reconciliation, fulfillment of prophecies, dragon, and the verb “to jump.” Now, also, you need to understand how I work. I hate bland sentences. The teacher will ask, “Give me a sentence using a verb in the future tense” or whatever. Now I’ve got two choices: I can use the normal everyday language and say, “He will sit in the chair,” and that way use the verb but never learn anything new, or I can try out one of the words I learned and say, “The dragon annihilated the village and will jump on the infidels heads.” Now, of course that sounds gross, but not all of my sentences have dragons in it. Plus, if everybody says the boring sentences then no one smiles in class and we are all bored to tears. So in my opinion silly sentences work better to a) make the class atmosphere better and b) bring in new words. Of course there are people in class that view me as a stupid American that refuses to work, because if I am going to do anything I want it to be fun, so …..some people embrace the silly sentences and use them with me and some view us of the first group as …..well… stupid.

Now on to the story:
We are doing the patterns. A sentence is given and it goes around the group and you have to change the verb or the subject or whatever. So the base sentence is, “Which girl recovered? The girl who has the suit with her recovered.” (see bland) We are expected to change what the girl has with her. So my turn comes around so I say, “The girl who has the angry green dragon with her recovered.” Dead silence…….nothing. A class room of glaring faces greets my eyes. I guess no body had had their coffee. Everybody apparently was not in the mood for my antics before 9am. Fine. No problem, I’ll save it till the next class, but the next pattern in our book had instructions that read:

“Converse using any of the words in chart B or with any reasonable word in the conversation.”

Yeah, slap in the face, but then here is the conversation.
Person 1: Did you know about the stewardess that went out?
Person 2: Which stewardess went out?
Person 1: The stewardess that had an injured hand went out.
Person 2: How was she injured?
Person 1: The criminal with the missing notebook hit her.

COME ON!!! That is retarded! Use any reasonable word in the conversation? You've got to be kidding me!

And thankfully the class agreed with me. So we decided to butcher the conversation. By the time all of us finish it came out something like this:

Person 1: Did you hear about the stewardess that jumped?
Person 2: Which stewardess jumped?
Person 1: The stewardess that has the ugly, injured face jumped.
Person 2: How was it injured?
Person 1: The crazy criminal with the missing brain hit her.

Well…..

Yeah, you’re right. I guess you had to be there. But it was funny, right? Ok, that was lame. Well, just remember we didn’t have enough words in our Arabic vocab to really mess it up. Cut us some slack.

Fly Me To The Moon

So today B was cooking or cleaning or something, I don't remember, but anyways Noah was obviously upset and whiny. I couldn't get him to stop whining, so I flip on iTunes and put on Ol' Blue Eyes and *poof* Noah goes still. He sat there quiet and still and listened through two Frank Sinatras and a couple of Sammy Davis, Jr.s. Who knew he had such good taste!


Oh, I know some of you are waiting for Chapter 2, The Stewardess, the Dragon, and the Upset Criminal, but I put the notes and dialogue for this chapter in my Arabic book, so next time I open it I will post the next chapter. So it may be a week, it may be a day depending on how much the Arabic Bear growls at me.

Chapter 1

The Difference Between “Story” & “Lady of the Night”

Day 65 of my imprisonment…… Just kidding. I always wanted to start off with that though. It seems only fit to try to shine a bit of light on the Arabic language for you. Then and only then will this situation/story truly bring a stitch in your side from laughter.

Arabic has several letters that, to the untrained ear (my ear), sound almost identical. Heavy t, normal t, heavy d, normal d, heavy h, and the normal h, and the list goes on. One of the kickers though is the “q.” The Q is a “k” sound that comes from the back of your throat. BUT in different dialects it changes. For instance, the Gulf Regions and among the Bedouin they pronounce it as a “g” sound. You know, like “gut.” Other places, like in the Levant and Egypt, they leave it our all together.

So the word for pen (Qalem), depending where you are, could be said as, qalem, galem, or ‘alem. Confused? Good. Now, if you use the Q sound you have to get it from the back of your throat or it comes out as a K sound and that, of course, changes it to a completely different word all together.

I spent a lot of time around a couple of Bedouin when we first got here, so I tend to pronounce the Q as a G now. So where most of my classmates say “qalem” or “’alem” I say “galem.” Well, I’ve noticed that when I say words in class some of my classmates don’t understand it because of my accent, so in class I try to switch while I’m talking from using the G back to the Q. Because of that I sometimes don’t get the Q to go back enough in my throat and it comes out a K. Make since?

Good, now on with the thing you are to be laughing at. One day we were telling stories. So I go on with my story. It’s starts of with me saying, “This is my story” and later on I say, “and in this story such and such happened” and “the point to this story is such and such.” Well the whole time I am trying to hide my Gulfi/Bedioun “G” and replace with the more widely accepted Q, but apparently it kept coming out weak and as a K, because every time I would say “story” the teacher would smirk and try not to laugh.

So I learned a new word that day. Here is what I learned from my “story.”

“Qussa” means “story”
“Kussa” literally means “whore” or the most vulgar word you can come up with for prostitute.

With that said, because of my weak Q that came our as K, go back up to the previous paragraph and replace “story” with well….you get the picture.

Funny eh? Well, yeah. It was funny.

Serial Non-Fiction

This is my attempt at serial writing. I will do my best, you hear me, my best to publish a chapter a day for the next several days. No promises, but I will try to get a new one up each day. I just waited too long and I have too much to write, so I am going to break it up so you don’t have to read a novel today in order to catch up. You can read each installment as you like.

Now when I say chapter, please don’t be expecting something well polished and/or lengthy. Are you kidding me, remember this is my blog, not some learned, grammar person who actually knows English. The more Arabic I learn, the more I realize how much English I don’t really know.

Anyways… let us begin.

My Adventures in Learning Arabic
A Novel by Abu Noah

[page turn]

This weak attempt at a book is dedicated to all the poor souls that have been attacked and killed by the Arabic Bear. We’ve shed our tears together as well as our answers to the tests, we've lost sleep as well as several appendages do to that nasty creature along the way, but still we limp on….

[page turn]

Table of Contents

1.The Difference Between “Story” & “Lady of the Night”
2.The Stewardess, the Dragon, and the Upset Criminal
3.The Conversation that doesn’t Translate
4.The Day I Hoped Would Never Come

[page turn]

Chapter One
The Difference Between "Story" & "Lady of the Night"

coming soon

hang in there kids...

Hang in there. It's been a week + and nothing new. Keep coming back. I've got funny English conversations, horrible bloopers in Arabic, and a Noah video pending.

I'll get some time this week (insha'allah) and get them to you. Keep coming back.

Big Daddy Smiles

Noah has been smiling for about week, but he has been tricky to catch on camera. The flash makes him laugh and smile, but by the time we get the next picture taken he has stopped laughing or smiling and then it flashes again. On and on the cycle goes until we were able to get some serious gut laughs and voila! Pictures abound!


What a kid! He is getting really good at talking too. He seems to be fluent in gibberish. We are still working on it though. The grammar isn't that bad, but the spelling is killin' us.

Cultural Quirks

This may be an eye opening post for some of you. Hang in there till the end.

Two things:

#1 - First, because we live in the desert we are always on water restrictions. Not like the wimpy kind you get if you live in Dallas and there is a drought. "If you water your yard between 10am and 6pm we will fine you." No, I am talking about once a week they fill up your water tank on your roof, and if you run out before that day next week then guess what? It stinks. YOU AIN'T GOT NO WATER!!! No potty flushing, no showers, no brushing your teeth, dirty dishes piling up, the WORKS!!!

(Sorry for the "drama-queen" approach, but do you get the picture?)

Anyway, this morning I was in the shower and the water pressure went way down and it got really hot. Apparently we still had some water in our hot water heater, but by the time lunch today rolled around we had nothing but drips.

So feel sorry for us, I guess. We get water every Wednesday, so it's only a night without it.

#2 - Arabs, well good Arabs, don't interact between the genders in public. They don't. It's culturally inappropriate. So many times you will see Arabs girls walking arm in arm through the mall or Arab guys walking holding hands. Yeah, that's right. Read that last sentence again to make sure you got it. Now, repeat after me, "It's not bad, it's just different." or if you are freaking out thinking about it, say, "It's not gay, it’s just different." It is culturally appropriate for them. They are completely straight, normal people. That is just how they express their friendship.

It has gotten to be a normal thing for me to walk around the mall and see tough looking Arab men walking hand in hand. That doesn't give me the eebie geebies, BUT when I am with my Arab friends and they grab my hand....ewwww. I still freak out about it.

Then of course you have that awkward "when do you let go" moment and so on and so forth. It's like being a jr. high kid with your first girlfriend at the homecoming game all over again. "Oh, she let go, does that mean she doesn't want to hold hands now? Or do I reach for her hand? When do I? Have I made her mad?" You know, stuff like that.

So Sunday night I walked through the mall like a tough guy holding hands with another man. Go ahead, take a second to finish laughing....



I'll wait... no problem.




So, that is hard enough, because, honestly, I don't really like it. I mean, it really is a great honor for an Arab guy to hold your hand. It means that you really are friends, straight friends. But come on!!! I grew up in America! I'm not gay. In America gay guys hold hands. Yuck!

So, I am walking around the mall holding hands with a guy and I see some American friends of mine. They are laughing and having a great time at my expense. Why? Because they've all been there before, but still it makes you feel all the gayer when you see someone you know.

So I got no water and I walk around the mall holding guys' hands......

what a life.

Musings on a Pumpkin Patch

Today as I was sitting in class trying to focus my mind to the task at hand [Arabic Grammar] I got the overwhelming urge to visit a pumpkin patch. Which, in and of itself, is pretty strange to me considering I don't know that I have ever been to a pumpkin patch. At least it didn't stick in my memory if I have. The closest thing I can recall is the big pumpkin stash at Hulen Mall in Fort Worth during the fall . Some nice pumpkin producers sell them to all the big city folk, and it always brings joy to my heart to see all the big fat round fellows just sitting there waiting (I am talking about the pumpkins themselves, not the producer farmers). I vaguely remember as a child one year getting seed packets for giant pumpkins with my brother. I don't know what ever happened to those pumpkins if we ever grew them. I guess I don't have a green thumb, or in this case an orange one. Those seeds couldn't have produced the colossal pumpkins they promised or I would remember... Unless I got squashed by one as it was rolling by and then perhaps my mind has created a pumpkin block. Which may be the reason I don't like pumpkin pie as much as I used to come to think of it. As I was sitting musing on pumpkin patch visitations I began to draw pumpkins on my notes. And then I got in trouble by the teacher for not paying attention. I don't know how she knew, perhaps by the drool running down my open mouth and pooling on my chin. Needless to say, all this pumpkin talk got me to missing pumpkins, the real kind, not the cantaloupe colored , half pumpkin/half gourd variety we have here. So I thought I would give y'all a small glimpse into my minds eye. Here are some photographic examples of my thought process. Picture #1: The pumpkin patch I want to visit. Picture #2: The closest thing I will get to it this year.

What I would like to hear: What was your favorite Halloween costume you ever wore? Or, what is the coolest Halloween costume you have ever seen?

-B-

Noah & Friends Video

Here is no-holds-barred, unedited, unadulterated Noah. No gimmicks, no fancy music, just Noah laying in the crib talking to his friends. This is probably more for the grandparents than anyone else, but Noah fans around the world are always welcome to view and "goo" and "gaa" over him.

Noah & Friends

Lion Hunting Video

Hunting lions can be difficult. Take a tour of our facilities and we'll show you how to catch and tame these viscious and ferocious creatures like a pro.

Lion Hunting Video

On The Way To School

If we are to be on time to school, then we have to leave at 8:10 by the latest. So far the earliest we've made it is leaving the house today at 8:15. I forgot something so B went ahead and I went back and got it and then was trying to catch up with her.

*B, doesn't like being late. Being late drives her crazy. I, on the other hand, haven't been on time to anything. This is probably one of the big kickers in us being married. She tells me to hurry up and I tell her to relax, she gets mad and I hurry up.....sometimes.

I am telling you this, because when we are late B gets into hyper-space drive and is off and I am running to keep up and trying to be quite, so she won't hit me and abuse me verbally.....just checking to see if you were awake. But seriously, I can't keep up with B when she is walking to get somewhere when we are late.

So, alas, me walking to catch up with her this morning was in vain. I was walking as fast as I could and she kept getting smaller and smaller in my view.

So here are my observations on the way to school today, because I finally gave up and went back to moseying along at my usual, turtle pace:

[We pass three schools on the way to ours, so that is why they are labeled school 1,2 and 3.]

School #1 - so far everyday we have gone to school we have been late. Every day we have been late we've walked by school #1 and I hear them singing inside or chanting the national anthem or whatever they do and I always see a girl maybe 14 or 15 walking quickly towards school. Not a B-paced walk, but you can tell she is late. I can't help but smile at someone in my same boat. We have an understanding. Us slow-pokes have to stick together.

School #2 - So I smile to my fellow tardee and round the corner. As I am passing by the little corner store I hear, "Ca-lie-tun, Ca-lie-tun." As I turn to look, one of my teacher's 16 year old sons is running up to me. I asked him why he wasn't in school. He told me that school #2 needed something so they sent him to go to the market to get it. That would never work in America. You send them out, they wouldn't come back.

School #3 - As I am approaching school #3 I see two little boys standing by the gate looking in. They are about waist-high old. Both of them are looking through the gate into school. As I walk by something happened and one boy's hand got pinched in the gate and apparently from his accusations it was the other one's fault. I keep walking by and all I could understand were the words "stupid" and "donkey." As I was rounding the corner I looked back and both boys were on the ground with fists ablur. They were engaged in the battle of the ages to save ones honor. After I rounded the corner and was half a car’s length away the battle of the ages obviously had stopped as quickly as it began and I began to hear crying, so either the little boy got his revenge or he just learned that his little buddy had a nasty left hook.

School #4 - I arrive at school and soon it is me crying because the Arabic bear is eating me, but that's a normal everyday thing.

Fiwst Day of Class

[this only works if you read this like a little kid who can't say his "r"s]

Hewwo, my name is Nowah. Twuday I went to schowal wid Momma and Daddy.

Daddy was so excited last night, hims picked out my cwothes and made shuwar I had eberweeting in my stwoller.

Mommy fed me at sefen tirty then Daddy dwessed me and gowt me weady this mowning. I wor a bwu sirt wid a barown monky on it. For the first time I wor pants and docs. I had some barown pants and white docs on ober my foots.

Then we woaded the swoller and off we went down the stweet. I was the youngest won there and the ownwee Amewacian. I was in the nuwsewy wid twu weally cute Awabs giwls. I hope they wike me.

I went to sleep and Mommy and Daddy went to class. They told me when I woke up on the way home that it was a good day of class but would be hawd.

I wanted to show you a pictur of my koot outfit but I ate too much and got it diwty.

Awl and awl, the fiwst day wasn't that bad.

What to Write?

I will go about my daily life and see things, or things will happen to me and I will say, "C, remember this and put this on the blog tonight." The problem is that I do most of my posting and blogging at night after Noah has passed out and B is trying desperately to get some sleep as well. So here I sit in front of the computer screen trying to remember the lessons of the day, or what cool thing I saw God do, or what Arabic word I tried to use that came out all wrong and actually meant something very bad, or so on.

So here I sit blank as the empty notepad document before me. Nothing.....nothing.......

Oh, on an issue of commenting. You guys are wonderful commentors. I get all of them and enjoy reading them as I am sure you enjoy reading each others. I am going to try to dialogue with you about what you comment. I stink at this, but I am going to try.

You know...L&A say, "Gee 3 Bulls, you should write about that time we tried to carve pumpkins for Halloween." Then I would comment back and say, "Yeah, L&A, that was a great time, remember how B's pumpkin was rotten on the inside and we all gagged."

That requires two things:
1. your comments
2. my comments

This means that you and I are accountable to keep the conversation going to one another. So after you comment check back on the post and see if I left you a comment.

On that note:
I was reading "Waking the Dead" by John Elderedge and in the book they talk about if you were a character in a movie or book, who would you be and why. This could be a good or bad thing. You know, I feel like so-and-so because I always do this and I never come through or do something awful, or it could be something more upbeat and positive. Your call.

Who are you and why? [choose from any movie or book]

What would you do?

Seeing how it is approaching 2AM and I've been up trying to remember if the Little League closing ceremony is tomorrow morning or not, so I am sending text messages back and forth trying to know whether or not to set my alarm for here in four hours or not, I thought you could wait on the text with me...

As school is starting and I am looking forward to May 31st and graduation, B and I have had several talks about what would we do if we could do anything. You know, if you could go back and get a degree in something you wanted, since now you've got a degree and looked into your field and decided you didn't like it, or what would be your dream job. Stuff like that.

I've always had a huge respect for a person who could start a business, school, or service and open it to the world and make it work. I've always been impressed with that.

I think I would want to do that if I could. Obviously we are dealing in the make believe world, because I have absolutely no business sense.

But seriously, B has always wanted to open up a little coffee/bookshop combo thingy. Which would be great for me, because I would get a discount.

I, on the other hand, have several things I would love to do. Have you ever thought, "Man, I think I could do that if I just had some training and the right situation?" Well I think that about a lot of things.

I would love to own a little restaurant. You know something that would fit a niche in a corner of the market. Like Katie's in Blanket, or the Taco Villa's in West Texas, or something with a really cool atmosphere that people come to eat, but stay because the free refills and the atmosphere. A happenin' little Italian place like on Return to Me or maybe a really good Chinese place.

[Do I have any idea about the food industry? No, but I keep them in business!]

Or another thing I would do is teach. University level. Something useful. I would love to get enough of a language and try to teach it. Spend the summers taking students around the (in this case) Arab world, showing them the language and the culture…..

Or I would love to do tourism, you know, live in a place, know the people and the places and bring in people and show them the ropes and operate a tourism business....

or maybe marketing, you know build up an item and try to sell it to people by the internet or design posters or something, but NOT a salesman. I couldn't sell water to a man dying of thirst!

[Okay, the text came back, just so you know, no closing ceremony tomorrow, so sleep in!]

What would you do? Would you open a business? Would you sit on the sea shore in Italy and write children's books? Would you go to work for MI6 and be a 008 secret agent? If all else fails for me, I am going to sit in B's coffee/bookshop and drink coffee and read the latest Dan Brown novel.

But tell me, what would you do?

Secret Bloggers Anonymous

As you have by no doubt already seen the picture of the chicken pox world map, I would like to direct your attention to the area containing the United States. Each of those red dots represents people seeing our blog. Now, I understand that some of you are faithful commenters and we enjoy hearing from you. Some of you are our close family or friends from good ol’ HPU (sting em jackets!), but as I’ve learned from various sources and phone calls that some of you are “secret bloggers.” Drifting in and out of the cyber world shadows undetected. That’s cool and all…

but guess what? You’re detected. I realize that you may be saying, “but nobody knows me and if some random Bubba or Mohammed, shows up on the comments, people are going to be asking who that is?” That’s okay, because we know you or someone who knows you.

Secret bloggers of the world, this is your time! Rise up and comment! Don’t hide behind the shadows any longer! Make yourself known! You may be a college student in Florida, and nurse in DFW, a rice farmer in Thailand or where ever that big dot in Southeast Asia is. The point is, introduce yourself. Let the people know you.

Leave a comment. Let us and everybody else know who you are and how you came to join the 3 Bull’s family.

Help us figure out who are all these dots.

Noah's First Alias

After yesterday's and today's efforts to get Noah his first passport, and thus his idenity, we thought it only fit that he develop his first alias. Meet Abdullah Kareem Ahmed Noah Abu Liil. He is a native of Saudi Arabia and lives in a Bedouin tent.

yes, I know, one of these days Noah will be attending counseling and blaming his parents for his idenity crisis, because they dressed him up in funny clothes and took pictures of him when he was young and helpless.

Noah's First Mug Shot

I never realized how hard it is to have an American citizen outside of America. I mean, if Noah was born in America then when he came out they would have slapped a "Made in USA" sticker on his butt and handed him a Social Security card and it's over. As of right now, at this very moment, Noah is nothing. He is a man without a country. Truly, he is an alien.

He is illegally in this country because in order to get him a visa he needs a passport to put it in.

In order to get a passport, he has to get a certified birth certificate in English.

In order to get a certified birth certificate in English, he has to get his one in Arabic translated into English.

But wait! He doesn't have one of those yet. He only has a birth record. Which basically says that he was caught at this time, on this day, at this place, by this doctor.

Oh, somewhere in there was a "gotta get a certificate of birth abroad." So Noah, mind you he is only 6 weeks old and can't even hold up his own head, has to appear before the consulate tomorrow and swear that all the information he provided was true and swear allegiance to the USA.

The cool thing about this whole thing is that Noah will have a passport before he has a Social Security card. Before Noah turns a year old, he will have possibly visited 5 countries. Three for sure. My kid will have his own baby passport!

That is cool! Anyways, here is his passport picture. They told us that he has to be recognizable in the photo. Wouldn't you say he was "recognizable?"

The Many Faces of Noah Benjamin

Enough Said...

Priceless...

Guy Time

Today B and I went to the mall so be could go shopping to find some clothes for her ever slimming figure. So she put Noah in the sling and I grabbed our "diaper dude" diaper bag and we headed out the door, hailed a cab and were off.

Well, after some tasty Hardee's Big Roast Beef n Cheddars from the Food Court, B headed downstairs to the clothing store and I headed to the computer store to get a web cam so the folks could see Noah on Video Skype.

Dilema: B usually takes N in the sling and I grab the diaper dude. No problem, but B couldn't try on clothes with a shorty strapped on her, so we switched. She took the bag and I took the kid.

It was so cool! A couple good lookin' guys out on the town pickin' up chicks. Well, considering the culture, my marriage and undying love for B, and his drooling problem; the chicks never did really come, but it was good having guy time. I got to tell him all about the different kinds of computers at the computer store and how to pick out the right one for him and how many gigs were enough for your hard drive and all about RAM. He was so interested that he fell asleep.

The best part about it was how Arabs took it. Arabs don't do slings. Most days the Arabs kindof look at B with this "thing" wrapped around her and peak in to see what is going on. When they see Noah they smile and walk off scratching their heads wondering why stupid Westerners don't just carry their kids. Well you can imagine how that multiplies when you see a guy wearing a sling by himself. I had all sorts of weird looks. I walked all over the mall and people just stared at me.

We gotta have guy time more often.

The pic above isn't the sling. It is a guitar case and has absolutely nothing to do with the post, just thought you would like it.

Nothing New

Nothing new. Noah managed to throw up on me today, again. Isn't it strange how babies can shoot things out of all their openings and it is cute?

It must be a good feeling to just lay there and spew when you need to and not worry about running to the nearest restroom. It must be a good feeling to be able to fill your diaper and make whatever noise you want while doing it.

007 Mania

For my birthday, I think it was for my birthday, was it for my birthday or for something else?

Anyways, for an unspecified occasion in my life my parents bought me a box set of the James Bond DVDs. I’ve always watched the 007 Marathons on TBS and other stations, but over here I didn’t get that once or twice a year Bond kick, so I got 7 Bond DVDs. I guess you could say I am a LTWFTO (Long Time Watcher, First Time Owner)

So, I just got time to watch them, and I realized something. The Bond movies are lame!

The theme never changes: British guy sleeps with at least two women, one of which has some truly ridiculous provocative name. He seduces them with these really bad pick-up lines which they buy. Then the movie ends with him and this girl in a secret lair that is self destructing, only to have them escape and then…. well…you’ve seen the movies.

I love it! I can’t stop watching them. Call me just another mindless American consumer. I don’t know why they sell and I don’t know why they are making new ones, but I love it. I want to get them all! (By the way, did you know the new James Bond is blonde?)

Am I alone here? Any other Bond fans? What was your favorite Bond movie? Your favorite Bond? You favorite Bond bad guy? Or if you think Bond is stupid and degrading to women then leave a nasty hate-post about it. Your call. Dialogue with me.

Scootchin' Video

Watch out folks! We've got a mover on our hands. One month down and he is ready for track. If you scroll down to the end of the page there is a petition to add "scootchin" to the Olympic summer games. Help us as we help Noah go for the gold!

(Please don't scroll down to the end of the page. That was a joke. You will feel bad if you do.)

But seriously, this little guy has wheels for a baby. Check him out!

Scootchin' Video

Family Photo

Here it is, the one you've all been waiting for...this is our family photo. Keep in mind it was taken at 5:30 AM so don't be too harsh.

Cruddy Blogger Alert!

So I doubt the video from the previous post does anything to appease the masses chanting, "Noah, Noah, Noah!" or the masses asking, “Why don’t he write?” I also seriously doubt that many of you committed readers have continued to check the blog. It will probably be days after this is posted before anyone notices, because of the lack of action around here from the past weeks. Even the buzzards got tired of circling and are now gone.

The sad thing is I've been so busy here of late that I haven't even really known that I was neglecting the blog. Isn't that bad? I feel dirty just typing that. I didn't realize that I had dropped out of the virtual blogging world until today, when several events grabbed my attention.

1. Today my parents called the computer three or four times and then call my mobile to make sure I'm okay.
2. Randall, my old roommate, calls my mobile to make sure everything is okay with me.
3. Andrea, a friend from Delaware/Rhode Island/London calls and in passing asks if everything is okay because the blog hasn’t been updated. I didn’t even know Andrea knew we had a blog! (Andrea, now everybody knows you are a “secret blog reader” so know you need to start leaving comments, no more of this 007 stuff and drifting in and out of the shadows reading blogs and not leaving comments.)

All that to say, “Don’t give up on me!” My kid is still cute, I am going to get more videos, I am going to be a better blogger, I am can change, and I mean it this time.

But seriously, Noah’s Scootchin’ Video should be coming up soon as well as some more pics. Don’t bail on us now.

Ukulele Video

Here is a video of a guy playing the Beatle's While My Guitar Gentle Weeps. I would highly recommend it.

While My Guitar Gently Weeps

Baby Noises, Diapers, and Zoolander

I am obviously new at this parenting thing, so those of you who are veterans and have raised 100 kids just laugh at my ignorance and move on. Babies make a bajillion different noises! They make noises when they sleep, they make noises when they are awake, they make noises when they are happy, they make noises when they aren't happy.

OUR KID IS NEVER QUIET! I am not complaining. It's more fun this way, I just never knew the eclectic mix of noises Noah could produce at such a young age.

Sidenote: Mom, thanks for bringing all those leftover (everyone note that they were leftover diapers and not used diapers!) when you came. People have been telling us, "oh, don't get too many newborn size diapers, because he will be out of them in no time." Well, apparently we are either a)stupid and didn't too many enough or b)Noah was just early so he is wee little lad or c)he is just a pooping machine and we run through them fast.

But whatever the reason, we ran out of newborn diapers in the middle of last night. None. Zero. Zilch! All we had was size 1 and size 2. Well newborn diapers come up past his belly button, so you can only guess what he looked like with the size 1s on. We could have poked holes in the sides and put his arms through them. He was a diaper with a head.

Sidenote to the sidenote: How do people with kids get anything done? You just sit and stare at them. Does it ever get to the point where you are so tired that you go numb and you don't realize how tired you are and you go back to feeling good?

P.P.P.S. Noah has somehow picked up on Zoolander and can do his "Blue Steel" look. I am working on getting it on video for you guys.. I realize Zoolander was quite possible the dumbest movie ever made and I am not endorsing it. My kid is just good at impersonations I guess.

Saudi Dancing Video

In our city they are hosting a Global Village, which is groups from all over gathering for a culural experience. We were able to catch a bit of it on video from our camera. Take a look.

Saudi Dancing Video

God Moments

A group of us are reading through the book of Acts this summer and today we were looking at chapter 16 where Paul and Silas get beaten and chunked in the slammer for casting out an annoying demon from a slave girl.

*sidenote*
I’ve returned to my normal summer schedule today. I am blown away about how long the days seem to be when you don’t sleep as good at night. I don’t know how we are going to make it once school starts back up in a month and a half.
*end of sidenote*

Y’all know the story. They are singing and having church (By church I don’t mean they were singing two hymns and some praise choruses and then someone preached and they took an offering and then went home unchanged, but I mean church, where God was present and they encountered him in a fresh way that rejuvenated their souls in such a way that it cause all the hardened, sissy-hating criminals in the jail with them to listen.)

Then the earthquake came and the doors flew open and the jailor freaked out and Paul told him to get a grip its okay, they were all there. The jailor then came trembling and asked them, “What must I do to be saved?”

That is a difficult concept for me. The last time I saw an earthquake on TV I didn’t see any trembling people asking that question. What was it about the earthquake that hit the jailor and turned him to God?

I am convinced that there are times in life that God shows up in a very real, very tangible way and it not only cannot be discarded as “coincidence” but it even causes unbelievers to fall on their knees and go, “what must I do?” I think any normal person would say, “oh, the earthquake, good luck for the prisoners, bad luck for the guards,” but not this guy he sees the hand of God coming to rescue his captive children and he is all of a sudden faced with the fact that his standing on the wrong side of the battlefield and it freaks him out.

The longer I am here the more I am convinced that “luck” and “coincidence” are nonbeliever terms. Everything is a God moment. God moves and we choose to give him credit/glory or choose to blow him off. I am beginning to see the moments when a taxi driver catches something I’ve said and wants to know more, when a “religious” person hears the Way and isn’t turned off by it, as God moments. Did I catch them on a good day? Maybe he was in a good mood? The answer is God moved and I get to be the earthquake to grab someone’s attention. Coincidence? I think not!

Your Permanent Noah Fix

Off to your right you can see the section for all the Noah videos we have posted thus far. As he makes him, we will post them and then archive them under "Noah's Videos" so you can always have them at your beck and call without having to search our entire blog.

Also we have got some of his photos up on the web in "Our Photos" section to your right as well.

Have a great day!

Paul Obviously Didn't Have Kids

Its funny how time and outlook can change the way you see things. It can even change how you read scripture.

This morning I was reading First Corinthians 7. Its Paul writing to the Corinthians and telling them that it's better to marry than to burn, but if you ain't burnin' than don't get married. (That may be a tad oversimplified, but for time and space concerns that will do.)

I remember reading that in college and asking the question, "Should I get married? If Paul endorses singlehood than I should really look into it, right?"

Well after B and I got married it shed a different light on that scripture. I realized what he meant about married folks have divided interests and wanting to please the spouse and God. That passage had a slightly different meaning to me, but I wasn’t wanting singlehood and I definitely wouldn’t want to got back to it.

Well today was the first time I have read it as a father and I can tell you that this Paul obviously didn't have any biological children. (he said he had many spiritual children, but that’s different. They come physical able to change their own diaper) I read that passage now and think, "if Paul would've had a kid he would have ripped that singleness section out of his letter, because parenthood blows singlehood right out of the water!

I thought I would give you that little tidbit today rather than another Noah video. My reasoning being twofold: 1)he is asleep right now and judging by how tired B looked when I got up this morning I think it would be in my best interest not to wake him and 2)if you get a Noah video everyday then he may just become "old hat" and believe me, my son is not "old hat." Absence makes the heart grow founder. (that’s for you NaNa and Papi/Babi/Poopi or whatever he is going to call you.)

Interview with the Captive

Our reporters were able to catch up to the elusive Noah mid-morning today at his summer home, "The Bed." It was difficult to keep him awake, but I think his answers will shock you.

Noah's Captivity Interview

The Week That Changed My Life

On the eve of Noah’s first week anniversary of existence on this side, I am sitting here pondering what has happened this past week. Last Thursday night I was sitting in a really nice open air coffee shop drinking tea and relaxing without a care in the world.

Tonight I am sitting completely alone in the living room as B is desperately trying to get a measly hour or two of sleep before Noah’s next feeding time.

Things that have happened this week that last week I knew were coming eventually and were told would happen but I didn’t think much about. Those of you that have had kids may just nod your heads and smile knowingly or laugh out loud. Those of you without kids may not get some of this. That’s okay, last week I was clueless too.

*I have changed a diaper.
*I have been taught the correct way to change a diaper
*I have been peed on…. Twice.
*I have been thrown up on.
*I have seen newborn baby poop (you know, the black stuff, hmmm….)
*I have actually listened to the doctor when he talks.
*I have washed my hands after everything because I care where they have been and want them to be clean.
*I have witnessed a circumcision. (Enough said. Wow!)
*I have not slept all the way through the night because I am worried about someone else.
*I have learned how to swaddle a baby.
*I have sought the advice of my parents.
*I have learned how to spell biliruben.

I know I am forgetting a million things, but that’s okay. I am sorry about the pictures. Noah has two modes at this point: ON and OFF. OFF works really well at this point, we are still working on his ON though. He is always asleep. Therefore all of his pics are of him…..asleep.

Prisoner Released!

We were able to bribe a nurse and pay a hefty sum to accounting in order to smuggle little Noah out of the headquarters of his captives. Our reporters tried to catch an interview with the newly released hostage, but upon returning to his house he was promptly fed and fell asleep before we could get a word with him. We are hoping he is more talkitive tomorrow. We will keep you posted.

Psycho Father Steals Son and Burns Down Hospital!

The custody battle for baby Noah rages on and the casualties are piling up on both sides.

Just kidding, no deaths yet.

We are just waiting on his little liver to kick in and start filtering out his belarubens (anybody got a clue how to spell that?) That is what cause Jaundice, belarubens. You know. belarubens. It’s a fun word, see if you can work that into a sentence today.

Anyways, way more important than belarubens smellarubens is our son.

So let’s see more of him! The grandparents wanted more face shots of him, so two days ago (before the Iranian invasion) we shot this video of him and sent it to the folks, but because he has been locked away on the 8th floor of a tower we’ve had little photo opportunities, so we are going to make it available to the public.

This is 100% Noah. No lights, music, or fancy smancy stuff.

Noah Day One

I Feel Your Pain Sally Field

Have you ever seen “Not Without My Daughter”? I feel like Sally Field. Noah has Jaundice, you know where the liver isn’t getting rid of enough dead red blood cells so the skin looks yellowish. Well, because he was three weeks early and the Jaundice factor, he has been under the blue UV “tanning booth” getting his tan on.

Normally I wouldn’t mind that EXCEPT that we came home from the hospital on Sunday morning and little Noah is still locked up with no end in sight. The doctor said that he might be able to come home this morning. Well, yet again, it’s close to midnight and here I sit in a Noah-less house. Alas, the mighty Iranian empire is holding fast to my son. (That is a reference to “Not Without My Daughter.” The Iranian government has nothing to do with our hospital or our son.)

So what do we do? We do what any good parent would do, we march in there and demand our son! “Give me my son you stinkin’ Iranians!” You may laugh, but that thought has crossed my mind. B could act like she is needing to feed him and I could sneak up behind the nurse and konk her on the head with a bed pan and then we could grab him and make a break for it! I’ve sized up the rent-a-cop that guards the front door, I could take him.

Anyway, all that to say that Noah is still taking up residence at the hospital. He should be coming home tomorrow. If not, you can see me on the headlines at CNN.com tomorrow night.

“Psycho Father Steals Son from Hospital and Burns it Down.”

Keep on keepin’ on Sally Field, I feel your pain.

He is Here!

I apologize for the lack of depth or detail to this post other than Noah made it! I am in a hurry to go back and hang with the kid I've been waiting to meet for 9 months.

I also apologize for the cruddiness of the video, but I will make a better one once Noah doesn't have that "just got here jetlagged" look.

Noah Benjamin Video

Flying Rice

We were at a Mama's daughter's house eating a rice & lamb dish. Traditionally you eat it with your right hand. You pull off a piece of meat and roll up your rice and meat in a ball and then you move it onto your thumb and push it into your mouth with touching any of your hand to your mouth.

Well after we'd been eating a while we were trying to flick the balls of rice and meat into our mouths like tossing up popcorn. Well, that got boring so we started trying to toss them into to each other's mouths.

So the first time we tried it a buddy tossed it to me. As soon as it left his hand it fell apart. So instead of a ball of rice flying up in the air, a wave of rice and lamb flew up above my head.

Naturally, I ducked out and move. Well Mama was behind me and was showered with rice and lamb.

So there stands Mama covered in rice. Oh the shame! You could have heard a pin drop. We were freaking out! We began apologizing like crazy. "Oh, Mama, we are so sorry. We will clean up the mess, don't worry."

The first thing out of Mama's mouth is, "no, you have to put a little bread in the ball and it will make it stick together better."

It is great. I love Mama. She understands us.

Happy Father's Day to All and to All a Good Night?

So Father's Day was fairly interesting day this year. I am a father! sortof. It's a peculiar thing. I have a son. He kicks and squirms and gets the hiccups, but I don't have any fatherly duties really. For me, he's a pretty low maintenance kid right now.

Sidenote: Here they don't celebrate Father's Day. I was stupid enough to ask a women why? Her reply was, "In this culture everyday is Father's Day. The men just sit around and don't do anything everyday. Why do they need a special day to do it?"

right... of course.

So I don't ask her many questions anymore.

But anyways, I hope you had a great عيض الاب this year.

Noah's Busy Day

On Wednesday I woke up to B crying. Despite being pregnant B doesn't cry much and never before 9am, so I rolled over to see what was the deal.
Apparently B was plugging in our washing machine and slipped and slid her finger onto the plug as she was plugging it in. The results were painful.

*Before I go on, I want to point out two things. One, this was a fluke thing that you would have to try really hard to do. We may live overseas, but we do not have live electrical wires just lying around our house. Two, we are on a 220V system here, so all you pansies in the States with your little 110V shocks need to realize that 220V hurts twice as much!

Anyways, B had electrocuted herself. It burned her finger underneath her wedding ring. It was a pretty bad shock. She was okay, but had a headache and was nauseous.

We then began freaking out about Noah, so we called the doctor and rushed to the hospital. Come to find out everything was fine. Praise the LORD. Noah was doing just fine, his was a little more twitchy than normal and his hair stood out a little straighter on the sonogram, but he was fine.


So in Noah's Book of Firsts it now reads:

Minus 6 Weeks Old: I survived being electrocuted.


Not bad for a little guy his age, but apparently electrocution does a number on the wee ones, because on the way home B tells me that he had the hiccups for the first time.

So in Noah's book of firsts it now reads:

Minus 6 Weeks Old: I survived being electrocuted...

and it gave me the hiccups.

Where Am I?

Two things are for certain in the Arab World.

1.Nothing will ever be done when they say it will be done.
2.When they finally get around to doing it, it for sure will not be done efficiently.

Keep these things in mind.

Where Am I part one.
So we don't drink water from the tap. It ain't as bad as Mexico, but it's no spring water either!

Because of this we have bottled water delivered to the house in 5 gallon bottles. When you run out you call them and they bring more. This could take 3 hours or three days depending on the wind, or the weather, or the alignment of the stars.

This week we ran out of water and I called the guy and he said he would be there in a little bit, so I figured by tomorrow.

Ten minutes later a guy is at my door with water.

Where am I? This ain't the Middle East I know.

Where Am I part two.
So we ordered internet on Monday. First the telephone company has to come make sure the line is installed properly or run a new line. They told me that it would be done sometime the later part of next week.

The kicker is after the telephone company comes, I have to call the internet company and after three or four days they will send someone out to give me my user name and password. You can imagine in Arab time how long that meant.

So we were planning on getting internet for Christmas.

Wednesday about 7pm I get a call from the telephone technician and he was wandering if now would be a good time to come set up the internet line. I told him sure, so an hour later he shows up and fiddles around for about 30 minutes, hooks up a modem, gives me a username and password, pulls up Yahoo.com and is out the door.

I sat at my desk staring at my computer. Yahoo? It can't be. Then B walks in and says, "Is that the internet? We have the internet?" All I could say was, "Yeah, I guess so. Maybe he messed up."

Again, where am I?

Things done in a timely matter and semi-efficiently?

Complete Catch-Up

So, I realize that if this were a mid-afternoon sit-com then it would like one of those that you rush home from school to see (Saved by the Bell, Full House, etc.) and it would be one of those episodes where Zack and Kelly break-up and you are freaking out and then the big "To-Be continued" flashes on the screen and you get mad and through the bag of "RRRuffles with RRRidges" at the TV and scream, "AW man! Come on! Don't do this to me!"

But then you come back the next day and nothing comes on and then the next day and the next day. Nothing. Saved by the Bell communication black out!

I apologize completely. Although I highly doubt any of you are rushing home from Jr. High to read the blog everyday, I feel like I've brought your posting hopes up with Signal's final game, The All-Star game, the Parents coming, and the New House and then.......

nothing....

You've come day after day looking for the resolve of "Zack and Kelly's relationship" and....

Nothing. How rude of me. I realize that none of you are losing sleep, but still it's the principle of it. :)

So this is a "Previously on Two Bull's"

SIGNAL
Signal loses our last game to the number one team (you remember them. The steroid enhanced players of Cozmo) only to team up with them in the All-Star game the next week.

Sidenote: You should have seen our guys with their guys. It was like men teaming up with boys.

But the steroids of Cozmo were no match for the well balanced play of the "Pharm Cord" (the Pharmacy One/Baby Cord mix). We, the Mighty Mighty Sigmo, were defeated in the bottom of the fifth.

Second Sidenote: Haitham, our runt, showed up about half way through the second inning in full uniform, ready to play. Downside: Haitham, while being the most improved player, was not chosen for the All-Star team. I wanted to choose him, but I just couldn't. Too many others on the team deserved the All-Star spot. Sad day. I had to explain to him that he couldn't play in this game, but he was an All-Star in my book. Again, sad day.

THE PARENTS COMING
I am approaching this section with fear and trembling. Between Mom and Dad and their time here I have so many ridiculously hilarious stories. BUT if I were to share them I would embarrass my parents and they in turn would share stories of me from my childhood or post naked baby pictures of me on the web.

Therefore, I will bypass such shenanigans and say that we had a great time. Mom and Dad, thank you so much for the visit. It meant the world to B and me. We look forward to seeing you again soon Lord willing. It was wonderful to have you here and experiencing our world.

THE NEW HOUSE
We have been in the process of moving from a furnished apartment to an unfurnished apartment meaning that we are slowly buying furniture for the house. Example: we've been in the house for two weeks and today I just got a mirror. I walked into the bathroom at Hardee's two days ago and just about scared myself. Me just throwing gel in the hair and shaving without a mirror does not go over well. Trust me.

Last week I had to go to about five different places to pick up a hundred different things, so I had to rent a truck and some movers. Here you don't rent a U-Haul and drive it yourself. You go down to the empty lot where men with big trucks are and you rent them and a couple of Egyptians to do all the work. Well about half way through unloading all of it at the new house I got of good whiff of all the "cigarettes" they had been smoking. Yeah, it was pot. Yeah, I was wondering why they were all in a good mood.

Between the pot smoking movers, the water shooting out from the bottom of the toilet, and the Internet company's, "yeah we are coming tomorrow" for the last week, it’s been a great experience, but the LORD has been good. We are very thankful for the new place. Seriously, it's move than we could have hoped and definitely more than I deserve.


So I hope that catches you up before we start the new season of Two Bulls.

I will do my best to get more posting up once our internet gets working at the new house.

Signal Scares Baby Cord

I don't know how to express this really. I walked off the Sandlot today feeling an overwhelming sense of pride in my guys. At the end of the game, the other team thought they lost because of our team was cheering so loud. Did we win? Not if you count the runs.

Here is the run down of the game.


Top of the First:
2 outs, they have a runner on second. Somehow a switch is flipped and Signal goes crazy and throws the ball everywhere. They score 7 runs. We are saved by the "you can only have 10 batters a inning rule."

Bottom of the First:
We score 3

Top of the Second:
1 out, they have a runner on second. Kid hits the ball, throws the bat and hits our catcher, he is out, but only after a discussion with the umpire, somehow their runner on second scores. Don't ask me how I have no clue. Still workin' on that one. But anyway, we shut them down. Only 1 for them.

Bottom of the Second:
We score 3 again

Top of the Third:
2 outs, runner on second (sound familiar) and they hit a ball to the short stop. He tries to run down the runner headed towards third. When he realizes that he can't tag him five feet from the third basemen he launches it to him. Third baseman of course misses it and the runner heads home, the kid moves from first to second. We explain to our short stop not to do that again. The next batter, THE EXACT SAME THING!. The batter after that? THE EXACT SAME THING! Three plays in a row! Signal then goes into self destruct mode and is saved by the "you can only have 10 batters a inning rule." They scored 6 runs

Bottom of the Third:
3 up, 3 down

Top of the Fourth:
2 outs, runners on 2nd and 3rd. A kid that makes our runt (Haitham) look like a giant, jacks a line drive over our first baseman's head and scores the two runners. Next batter strikes out. We hold them to 2 runs.

So those of you doing the math know that it is now 16 to 6 in the bottom of the last inning. We are only allowed 10 batters, so every single one of our batters not only has to hit, but to score as well. We are sitting at our number 6 batter, meaning we are in the heart of the bottom of our stinky hitters. You can image the miracle it would take for us to tie.

Bottom of the Third:
We had gone through 6 batters and scored 5 runs before they got our first out. We ended the game with all 10 batters hitting the ball and leaving only 2 on base. So we scored 7 runs that last inning and they were saved by the "you only get 10 batters a inning rule!"

So take that! We lost, but we whooped some booty doing it!

Every single one of my kids hit the ball and almost all of them got to score. I didn't strike out a single one of them! After that 10th kid hit a double and scored a runner we were all cheering and yelling and shouting! The other team didn't know they had won the game!

So going into our final game next week against the first place team we are 1-8. I would like nothing better to give the first place team a black eye for the end of the season.

Smurfs, Tests, Parents, and Yul Brynner

I am realizing that I have been utterly pathetic at keeping you guys up to speed on life this week. I've been a bad blogger this week, so I apologize.

It's late Thursday night and I am sitting here reflecting back on the week, so I thought it would give you some updates on what's gone on.

These are in no particular order.

* Tonight I saw an Arab dressed up as a Smurf outside Pizza Hut. That's right, a Smurf. He was big and blue, with a white hat and white pants, but no shirt as most Smurfs don't have any use for them.

*We found a new apartment, so now we are going shopping for furniture. Do you know how many types of furniture are out there? I only wear jeans, because I have problems making decisions. I wore jeans yesterday, I wore jeans today, and I will wear jeans tomorrow. Picking out furniture is a foreign concept. Too many decisions.

*Today was Independence Day here. I asked a taxi cab driver why it was Independence Day. You know, was it because you won your independence from the British or from the Turks or from what? He didn't know. He said, "It's Independence Day, because we have independence." Makes sense to me. Why not?

*Tomorrow Signal plays again. My kids did well at practice, but my first baseman is going to be gone, so I have a hole to fill, but because it's a three day weekend I doubt I will have enough to play anyways.

*B and I started packing up the house. It's amazing how much junk you accumulate over 10 months. It's even more amazing how much junk you accumulate in a furnished house!

*My parents are coming to visit on Sunday. I am so stinkin' pumped.

*We got 3D pics of our kid this week. (See post below) My dad said he looked like Yul Brynner from the King and I. Is that a good thing?

*We have only two more school days left. I took my last two big tests. I made a 78 on my grammar test and a passing grade on my speaking. That means that they can't hold me back. I am moving on to the third semester the fall!


I am completely in awe about how boring this post is. I apologize for a lack of creativity. Once school is over, the parents leave, and we have furniture in our house I will have more time to blog, but then if I am not doing anything, then what am I going to post?

Baby Bull Pics

B and the BB are doing well. We went in for our 31 weeks check up. We were able to get 3D pics of the kid. Normally, I am not one to be putting up ultra-sound pics of my unborn all over the web, but these are pretty cool.

We were able to zoom in on his face and literally watch him yawn. I am sorry I couldn't get a copy of the video, but you guys can see the stills.

Here he is...

Here he is yawning....

So what do you think? Does he look like me? Does he look like B? Can you even tell its a baby?

Dubai Video

I apologize for the month delay on this video. I finished the Kenya video and then forgot about us in Dubai.
I apologize for the video as well. It's a bit long, so I had to drop the bandwidth down, so it may be a bit blurry.
That's it for the apologizing. The mall you will see in the video is huge, not to mention that the ski slopes you will see are in the mall!

Enjoy.

Dubai Video

Signal In Slump, Coach Clueless

Usually after a game where we loose I am able to look back as a coach and think about the good things that happened in the game and encourage my kids with that and tell them we can do better and we will get them next time.

The speech after this embarrassing 23-8 lose was simply: "Guys, I will see you at practice. If you don't come then you don't play next week."

My kids gave up. After the second inning they quit. They took the defeat and just didn't care anymore. They took on the persona of "defeated."

We've lost every game save one, and that game was a forfiet!

My kids just don't believe they can win.

Am I a bad coach? Do my kids just suck? What's the deal? What can I do to motivate them?

"Hey, kids if we win this next game I'll take you out for McDonalds?"

Any ideas?

Apartment Seeker Hangs Himself

I've been apartment hunting this week. It stinks. I will post more about it when I am not so discourage/angry/soar/tired/ and in a better mood. :)

Does anybody know why they try to charge foriegners 700 USD a month for a 200 USD a month apartment, the size of a big walk-in closet?

Signal Gets Beat Like a Red Headed Step Child!

The details are just too painful, but apparently we need to check Cozmo for steriods, cause they beat the snot out of us! 22-11.

If we hit good, they hit better. If we played good defense, they were vaccuums sucking up any ball that came near them.

But out of this industrious butt-whippin' we have one very funny story....

Haitham, the runt, is up to bat in the bottom of the first and hits a little dribbler down the first base line. The first basemen catches it and is waiting on the baseline to tag Haitham when he runs, so Haitham, now halfway to first, sees this and turns around and runs back to home, picks up his bat and stands back in the batter's box ready for another pitch. He wanted another try!

Poor kid!

The good news is next at bat he had he hit a dribbler to the massive, steriod taking pitcher and the pitcher over throws first, so Haitham got a double!

All that to say....

We just don't play good on Fridays.