Father's Day Q&A

Noah gave me his Father's Day present this morning.  Part of his gift to me was a questionnaire that his teacher at his preschool helped him fill out earlier this week.  Noah's answers are underlined.  These are Noah's own, original answers to the questions.

MY DADDY.....

My Daddy is 5 years old.
My Daddy's name is Clayton.
He weighs 60 pounds and is 11 feet tall.
My Daddy has brown hair and blue eyes.
My Daddy's favorite food is chicken.
My Daddy's favorite clothes are shirts and pants.
My Daddy's favorite color is red.
My Daddy's job is a new job.
Daddy gets mads when I fight with my brother.
Daddy is happy when I do good things.
My favorite thing to do with Daddy is when we eat candy.
The best thing about my Daddy is that he has a superhero body.

That's all I've got to say about that.

Bunk Beds

We bought the boys bunk beds on monday after Noah and Nate broke Nate's baby crib. It only took them 10 minutes from having the bunk beds up to figure out how to climb up on the top bunk without using the ladder and how to reach out and put their hands in the ceiling fan!

I love boys! Pacing myself for another immanent trip to the ER!

I Cleaned Your Phone

Friday morning Noah came into the bathroom while I was getting ready for work and handed me my cell phone.

"here daddy, I brought you your phone"
"thanks Noah, why did you have it?"
"I was cleaning it for you?"
"Cleaning it?"
"yeah, i licked all over it and dried it off with my shirt. here you go"

I love my kids.

Pictures of the Boys

Pictures of the Boys

Scroll down towards the later ones to see pics of them at the river.  Really funny...

Family Night 2010

The boys' preschool did their annual Family Night. I knew it was going to be great when on the way over there BabyNate was screaming gibberish out the window and B looks at me and with this dead serious tone says, "Clayton, I serious don't know what to expect from him tonight." I knew it was going to be pure drama! At the Christmas performance Noah spent most of the time trying to get to the mic while his teacher spent most of the time trying to keep him from it. i must say that Noah did really well this time. Nate....well, he is a rock star at heart. Who needs rules!

Nate singing "Praise Ye the Lord"

Noah singing "What a Mighty God We Serve"

I'll Wash Your Mouth Out With Soap!

Noah has begun using the word "stupid." It has gotten worse despite our best efforts to curb it, so B went to washing Noah's mouth out with soap in order to deter him from using it anymore. The problem came when we realized we don't have any bar soap in our house. B, being quick on her feet and all around better at this parenting thing than me, grabbed the liquid soap and made Noah put some on his toothbrush and brush his teeth with it.

Needless to say, Noah HATED it and it deterred him from using the word for the remainder of the day. The next morning though B and I began to brush our teeth and realized that our toothbrushes tasted soapy.

Noah had snuck into the bathroom and soaped both of our toothbrushes without us knowing it!!

God speaks Scream

Today during our family prayer time Nate was whiny so it was difficult to hear each other at the table. Noah said, "its okay I am going to pray FORTISSIMO!!!" And with that he began screaming out thanks to God for MOMMY AND DADDY AND BABYNATE and so on and so forth through the entire family tree.

Its okay though. God heard him... and so did our downstairs neighbors.

Revenge is Sweet

It's tough being the little guy. You are the last one to arrive and get the snack because you have the shortest legs. You're the one that can't get the cookies on the counter. You're the one that never gets to play with the toy you want because the bigger guys either steal it from you or con you into take something lame so they can take it from you and then they can tell your parents that they "traded" you for it.

Being little stinks, which makes those moments of revenge oh so sweet and extremely funny to watch as a parent.

The other day Noah had messed up his clothes and needed to change. Since he is almost 4 I told him that I didn't make the mess and therefore he would have to change his clothes himself if he wanted to get out of the wet clothes. 5 minutes or so pass and then I hear Nate giggling devilishly and Noah screaming. In the midst of all of this I hear a slapping sound before each of Noah's over dramatic screeches.

I rush in there to find Noah hopping around frantically while Nate runs after him. Noah had apparently put both legs in the same leg opening in his jeans and therefore was rendered immobile save for hopping around. Noah had also neglected to put a shirt on before he found himself in such a vulnerable state. Nate maximizing on the situation, pounced on Noah slapping his bare chest and back with squeals of joy. Noah's response, instead of just decking Nate and being done with it, was opting to hop around like mad man, which only heightened Nate's sense of enjoyment as he would run down Noah and smack him. After several moments of this, Nate successfully pinned Noah on the ground and was slapping Noah silly.

By the time I pulled myself together and actually pulled Nate off of Noah, Noah was covered in little red hand prints and Nate was in a much better mood.

Here's to you Nate, you are a tough little scrapper!!

What is Noah Doing??

Yeah, what is Noah doing?.....

This is how videos like this always start off. Its quiet and one of us asks that to the other one.

Why Children Shouldn't Sit Next to You

We moved Noah's "little boy" highchair from the end of the table between B and I and turned it into Noah's "big boy" booster seat that now sits next to Daddy. That was a good idea.

Then today Noah decided to paint my dress shirt's right sleeve with Domino's pizza sauce as he was digging into his own slice.....

Big Boy Schmig Boy. Need to get that kid a straight jacket while eating!

What A Day This Is Going To Be!!

Noah was only up two hours today before he had already flushed his toothbrush down the toilet and dumped Noah's Baby headfirst into the dirty diaper bin.

What a day!

Noah's Baby

THIS IS NOT A POST ABOUT BABY NATHANAEL'S BIRTH, because well, HE ISN'T HERE YET!!!

Just like the lady from American Airlines informed me today as I was trying to buy tickets to come home in July, "Well, sir, we can't really issue a ticket for the infant because we need a name and a birth date and as of right now your son has neither."

Thank you so much.


Noah's Baby is different than Baby Nathanael. Baby Nathanael will be cute and warm and have fluids shooting out of him (.....er... TMI???). Noah's Baby is small and plastic and is cleaner and sleeps through the night.

Noah, as we all have, has gone a bit baby crazy these past weeks. This has manifested itself in different ways: Noah making us read the "I am a big brother book" over and over and over again, Noah chasing after strollers in public places screaming "BABY! BABY!! BABY!!, or our personal favorite, Noah kissing mommy's tummy. We realized the pinnacle of this baby madness last night when we were at some friends house who have 2 girls. These girls have dolls. Noah LOVED the baby dolls. That is right. My son is in to baby dolls......you wanna take this outside? Back off.

Anyway, we thought since Nathanael is dragging his feet that we ought to get Noah his own baby in this "pre-Nathanael tension" we've been living in so we could practice being nice to the baby and loving the baby and, when Nathanael finally gets here, Noah will have his own baby.

So we went to the store and picked up a very nice, masculine baby doll. NOAH WAS TOTALLY STOKED!!! The cashier took it out of the package to give it to him, because Noah's attachment. The whole way home all Noah did was kiss his baby and pat his baby and love his baby. His baby doll's name is Noah's Baby.

Then we got home. We rode up the elevator and got to our door. Noah then turns and chunks Noah's Baby down the flight of stairs!!

Then later today we found Noah's Baby face down in the dryer with the door shut!

Nathanael is doomed!

However tonight at the mall Noah and Noah's Baby were in the mall and Noah kept showing Noah's Baby to all the women that passed.

So Noah is a very proud, but very abusive parent.

Going Crazy Waiting

This is what we do since Nathanael hasn't got here yet. Noah is slowly going crazy and inventing new games like "Bang My Head On The Floor Squeaker Ball" Just needed to share a video with you.

Kitchen Disco-Rave/ Ambush White Man Party

So the Pwoods have been here this week. Very cool. That needs to happen more often. Pwoods, family, whoever. Come on over.

But I was in the office and I hear B yell that I need to come and discipline our son, so I walk out into the living room where I can see the entrance into the kitchen.

The lights are flashing on and off.....and Noah is giggling. I am not sure if you know this, but 2 year olds aren't usually able to reach up and turn lights on and off. Noah, naturally, isn't an exception to this rule.

This can only mean that Noah has climbed up the dryer and was probably sitting in the washer (which does happen quite a bit actually) and found out he was able to hit the light switch from there.

So I put on my "you are so dead" face and walk into the kitchen to practice the art of "spare not the rod." As I entered the kitchen however, I did not find Noah in the washer as expected (meaning I would be taller and looking down on him) but instead he had closed the washers lid and was standing on top of it, meaning that I came in and was eye level with his belly button and then had to lift my gaze even higher to peer up into my two year old son's face who is standing triumphantly higher than me. Slightly intimidating....might I add.

What comes next is most disturbing...
he gives a Comanche War Cry and jumps off the washer onto me. I mean, it was more he jumped and I caught him, but to his credit he jumped and then I freaked out and reacted and caught him just in time.

So Noah basically ambushed me from higher ground as I walked into his boobie trap!!!

Dude, it is going to be an interesting next couple of decades......

Room for Rent

Nathanael has officially been served an eviction notice. He hasn't paid rent in 9 months and has outgrown his living quarters. I look at B and I just hurt. Being 9 months pregnant has got to stink. We were talking today about stress and how B carries stress in her shoulders. She has been stressed out, but her shoulders haven't really bothered her this past month. It's not because they don't really hurt, it's just because everything else hurts so much worse!! :)

Yay for the day when the baby comes!

On a less "pregnant" note. Noah's new favorite game is to see how many things he can stick in the hole in my guitar while I'm playing..... picks, capos, poor Eddie's (his best friend/doll) face had indentions from the strings before I could convince Noah he was too big to fit in there.

You can imagine what beautiful music Noah and I make together when we play/bang on the guitar.

Dance Baby Dance

Sometimes the kid just dances.

Noah-isms from the week

Sorry about the lack of posting. No excuses really, just laziness, I guess.

Here is, off the top of my head, things Noah has done this week that has made us laugh or cry depending on how long that day was.

Pantry Dryer
We walked into the kitchen the other day. All of the canned goods were stacked neatly in the dryer.

Pop Tarts
It was 9pm and all was quiet. I was in the office working, B was washing dishes, Noah was...wait a minute, where is Noah? We found Noah in the living room with blueberry filling smeared all over his very, very happy, smiley face. He had ganked a box of unopened Pop Tarts from the cabinet and had managed to rip the box open and then rip open the package and had polished off one of the pop tarts and was half way through the other one before we caught him.

Mommom! Mommom!
That is B's name. not Momma, but Mommom. We here it from the kitchen this time and go running in. Noah has climbed up the dryer and all we see is two little kicking legs sticking out of the washing machine.

Baby Bible
After lunch we read a Bible story together and pray. Noah loves his Read-to-Me Bible for Kids. He really loves the picture of baby Jesus, so we spend half the time reading and the other half flipping back to the picture of baby Jesus, so Noah will be quiet and let us finish. This is a sample,
Me: Peter and John were..
Noah: BABY?
Me: yes, in a minute..."going to the temp...
BABY!?!
yes, hold on.
BABY! BABY! BABY!!
Okay.....you win.
*Peter and John never got into the temple that day. They had to wait till we saw baby Jesus first.

Jesus Loves Me
Every night we pray together as a family and sing "Jesus loves me." One night this week, it went like this.
B: "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells...."
Noah: BIBLE??
B: "Yes, the Bible tells us that Jesus loves us...., Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible te..."
BIBLE??
B: Yes, the Bible tells...
BIBLE!!
(the rest of the song was finished with Noah screaming Bible! Bible!)

Baby Nathanael
"Noah, where is baby Nathanael?" Noah will then run and pat or kiss B's tummy. Yeah, "awwww, how sweet," right? But today right after doing that, he found Baby Nathanael's stash of stuff animals hidden in a drawer. They are no longer Baby Nathanael's stuffed animals. They are Noah's stuffed animals.

And there's our week in recap. Hope it made you smile.

But We Don't Buy Dryer Sheets

For the past several weeks every time I fold our clothes after they come out of the dryer I keep finding all these dryer sheets. Not just one, but like 5 or 6. I think, "Why does B use so many dryer sheets? Wait a minute! I don't think we buy dryer sheets. Where is she getting them from?" Then as soon as I finish I forget to ask her.

Tonight the truth came out! B and I are folding clothes and she says, "I don't know how all of these [dryer sheets] keep getting in the clothes." And of course I say, "Babe, I thought we didn't use dryer sheets?" She then just shakes her head sympathetically and informs me, "We don't use dryer sheets, these are wet wipes."

Yea. Wet Wipes......I'm retarded.

Apparently Noah has a little habit of pulling out wet wipes and putting them in his dirty clothes hamper.

and YES they do look like dryer sheets after being dried in the dryer!! Quit making fun of me!

I Guess Life is Better Without Pants

The doorbell rang and I went to the door to get it. It was the delivery man. I opened the door and he looked at me and then looked down at my feet where Noah came to stand. He then handed me the food and while I was fishing out the money from my pocket I hear a little voice say, "oh" and both the random delivery guy and I looked down to see Noah. Noah was standing there with his pants down around his ankles. smiling back up at us.

Dinner and a show. I'm sure the delivery guy will not forget our house any time soon.

Noah the Climber

Noah
Noah is a little boy. While I don't remember me being a little boy and what that was like. I now understand why my parents took to drinking so heavily. (that was a joke. my parents don't drink...alcohol. However my mom has been known to knock back a keg of sweet tea now and again).
Noah is into everything. Not only into everything, but onto everything as well....
He has learned how to climb up into to his changing table. It will be quiet in his room and then we will hear him yelling. We go in and lo and behold Noah is on the changing table and wants us to get him down. 5 minutes later....same thing again and again and again.

He's learned how to climb up on the toilet so he can flush it, not because he can actually use the toilet, but just so he can feel and hear the sound of rushing water under his feet.

He's learned how to climb up the back of the loveseat, hop up on the back of it, and ride it like bull....until it throws him off onto his head.

And he is learning how to get his hands on the counter top in the kitchen and walk up the cabinet doors, which means soon he will have figured out some way, some how to get himself up on the counter top.

On a different note, Noah has stopped using most of his vocab. Everything is now MAMA!!!! at the top of his lungs. Me. B. the plate of food he is wanting. the guy half way down the street. It doesn't matter. I guess he thinks that if he just yells MAMA long and loud enough we will eventually figure out what he is saying. I think we should all follow Noah's lead and just choose our favorite word and only use it and yell it when we want or need something....