Why Children Shouldn't Sit Next to You

We moved Noah's "little boy" highchair from the end of the table between B and I and turned it into Noah's "big boy" booster seat that now sits next to Daddy. That was a good idea.

Then today Noah decided to paint my dress shirt's right sleeve with Domino's pizza sauce as he was digging into his own slice.....

Big Boy Schmig Boy. Need to get that kid a straight jacket while eating!

The "Why in the Heck isn't Nathanael Here" Ultrasound!

If you are familiar with ultrasounds, then you know that reading them can be tricky. The first several months you don't know if what you are looking at is, in fact, your child or just a dope-head's black & white stab at modern art.

Then you move to the middle months where you've had some practice at it, you actually can see a developing baby, and you can actually nod your head in agreement when the doctor says, "oh, look the feet" without lying through your teeth.

Oh if only that was the case with Nathanael today! Nathanael is so big that we've reached the stage where all we see is part of a leg, or part of his head. It was like looking from the other side of a one way mirror when some fat kid smashes his face up against it on the other side. Extreme close-ups! Our kid has officially moved into needing a wide screen ultrasound just to see him!

The good news is that B and Nathanael are both very healthy. Doc says that if Nathanael doesn't surrender and come out with his hands up by next Sunday the 8th, then we're sending in the search and rescue team.

The King and Rocky

What does the King and I starring Deborah Kerr and Yul Brynner and Rocky Balboa with Sylvester Stallone have in common? Very, very little, save the fact that Noah sat through and watched both of them.

Now the guys reading this will of course ask, "you let your son, whom you love, watch The King and I? Do you want him to grow up and be a dancing fairy?" And of course, the girls will say, "Rocky Balboa? Then he will learn how to hit and be violent!"

So my answer to both of these groups is, "heck yah! He is going to be an athletic dancing fairy with a mean left hook!" Don't mess with Noah "Bone Crusher" Bullion.....starring in the Broadway Musical..... :)

Noah learned two extremely important things from both of these movies. If you remember in The King and I every body had to bow before the king. It was the part of the movie when all the royal children come and are being presented before Ms. Anna. We looked over and noticed Noah was bowing every time one of the kids came in and bowed before the king. They would come in and bow, Noah would bow down. They would get up, Noah would get up. Next kid...same thing. On this went through the entire movie. The king comes in, Noah bows.

From Rocky Balboa he DID learn how to throw a jab much to my cheek's dismay, but during the credits they show all these fans running up the steps in Philly and raising their arms cheering. So Noah can now raise his hands like Rocky and cheer.

Bowing in humility, hands raised in triumph. Sounds like he is ready to worship.

Two Roald Dahl Poems

I just read these to Noah and they made me smile.

HICKETY, PICKETY
Hickety, pickety, my black hen,
She lays eggs for gentlemen.
Not for ladies? That's absurd!
What a chauvinistic bird.

THE CROCODILE
No animal is half so vile
As Crocky-Wock the crocodile.
On Saturdays he likes to crunch
Six juicy children for his lunch,
And he especially enjoys
Just three of each, three girls, three boys.
He smears the boys (to make them hot)
With mustard from the mustard pot.
But mustard doesn't go with girls,
It tastes all wrong with plaits and curls.
With them, what goes extremely well
Is butterscotch and caramel.
It's such a super marvelous treat
When boys are hot and girls are sweet.
At least that's Crocky's point of view.
He ought to know. He's had a few.
That's all for now. It's time for bed
Lie down and rest your sleepy head..
Ssh! Listen! What is that I hear
Gallumphing softly up the stair?
Go lock the door and fetch my gun!
Go on, child, hurry! Quickly, run!
No, stop! Stand back! He's coming in!
Oh, look, that greasy greenish skin!
The shining teeth, the greedy smile!
It's CROCKY-WOCK, THE CROCODILE!

What A Day This Is Going To Be!!

Noah was only up two hours today before he had already flushed his toothbrush down the toilet and dumped Noah's Baby headfirst into the dirty diaper bin.

What a day!

Noah's Baby

THIS IS NOT A POST ABOUT BABY NATHANAEL'S BIRTH, because well, HE ISN'T HERE YET!!!

Just like the lady from American Airlines informed me today as I was trying to buy tickets to come home in July, "Well, sir, we can't really issue a ticket for the infant because we need a name and a birth date and as of right now your son has neither."

Thank you so much.


Noah's Baby is different than Baby Nathanael. Baby Nathanael will be cute and warm and have fluids shooting out of him (.....er... TMI???). Noah's Baby is small and plastic and is cleaner and sleeps through the night.

Noah, as we all have, has gone a bit baby crazy these past weeks. This has manifested itself in different ways: Noah making us read the "I am a big brother book" over and over and over again, Noah chasing after strollers in public places screaming "BABY! BABY!! BABY!!, or our personal favorite, Noah kissing mommy's tummy. We realized the pinnacle of this baby madness last night when we were at some friends house who have 2 girls. These girls have dolls. Noah LOVED the baby dolls. That is right. My son is in to baby dolls......you wanna take this outside? Back off.

Anyway, we thought since Nathanael is dragging his feet that we ought to get Noah his own baby in this "pre-Nathanael tension" we've been living in so we could practice being nice to the baby and loving the baby and, when Nathanael finally gets here, Noah will have his own baby.

So we went to the store and picked up a very nice, masculine baby doll. NOAH WAS TOTALLY STOKED!!! The cashier took it out of the package to give it to him, because Noah's attachment. The whole way home all Noah did was kiss his baby and pat his baby and love his baby. His baby doll's name is Noah's Baby.

Then we got home. We rode up the elevator and got to our door. Noah then turns and chunks Noah's Baby down the flight of stairs!!

Then later today we found Noah's Baby face down in the dryer with the door shut!

Nathanael is doomed!

However tonight at the mall Noah and Noah's Baby were in the mall and Noah kept showing Noah's Baby to all the women that passed.

So Noah is a very proud, but very abusive parent.

Eli and Nathanael

Going Crazy Waiting

This is what we do since Nathanael hasn't got here yet. Noah is slowly going crazy and inventing new games like "Bang My Head On The Floor Squeaker Ball" Just needed to share a video with you.

Kitchen Disco-Rave/ Ambush White Man Party

So the Pwoods have been here this week. Very cool. That needs to happen more often. Pwoods, family, whoever. Come on over.

But I was in the office and I hear B yell that I need to come and discipline our son, so I walk out into the living room where I can see the entrance into the kitchen.

The lights are flashing on and off.....and Noah is giggling. I am not sure if you know this, but 2 year olds aren't usually able to reach up and turn lights on and off. Noah, naturally, isn't an exception to this rule.

This can only mean that Noah has climbed up the dryer and was probably sitting in the washer (which does happen quite a bit actually) and found out he was able to hit the light switch from there.

So I put on my "you are so dead" face and walk into the kitchen to practice the art of "spare not the rod." As I entered the kitchen however, I did not find Noah in the washer as expected (meaning I would be taller and looking down on him) but instead he had closed the washers lid and was standing on top of it, meaning that I came in and was eye level with his belly button and then had to lift my gaze even higher to peer up into my two year old son's face who is standing triumphantly higher than me. Slightly intimidating....might I add.

What comes next is most disturbing...
he gives a Comanche War Cry and jumps off the washer onto me. I mean, it was more he jumped and I caught him, but to his credit he jumped and then I freaked out and reacted and caught him just in time.

So Noah basically ambushed me from higher ground as I walked into his boobie trap!!!

Dude, it is going to be an interesting next couple of decades......

Room for Rent

Nathanael has officially been served an eviction notice. He hasn't paid rent in 9 months and has outgrown his living quarters. I look at B and I just hurt. Being 9 months pregnant has got to stink. We were talking today about stress and how B carries stress in her shoulders. She has been stressed out, but her shoulders haven't really bothered her this past month. It's not because they don't really hurt, it's just because everything else hurts so much worse!! :)

Yay for the day when the baby comes!

On a less "pregnant" note. Noah's new favorite game is to see how many things he can stick in the hole in my guitar while I'm playing..... picks, capos, poor Eddie's (his best friend/doll) face had indentions from the strings before I could convince Noah he was too big to fit in there.

You can imagine what beautiful music Noah and I make together when we play/bang on the guitar.

Water & Gas

So we just realized yesterday as we were driving around that we pay more for drinking water than we do for gas here.

0.80 USD for a gallon of gas
2.10 USD for a gallon of drinking water

That's messed up huh? Supply and Demand at its finest!

However, a bottled coke is only 0.25 USD. I'm so used to popping in and grabbing a coke on the run I don't know what I am going to do with the coke prices in the States when we get there. I am going to have to give up drinking!

Dance Baby Dance

Sometimes the kid just dances.