Baby Noises, Diapers, and Zoolander

I am obviously new at this parenting thing, so those of you who are veterans and have raised 100 kids just laugh at my ignorance and move on. Babies make a bajillion different noises! They make noises when they sleep, they make noises when they are awake, they make noises when they are happy, they make noises when they aren't happy.

OUR KID IS NEVER QUIET! I am not complaining. It's more fun this way, I just never knew the eclectic mix of noises Noah could produce at such a young age.

Sidenote: Mom, thanks for bringing all those leftover (everyone note that they were leftover diapers and not used diapers!) when you came. People have been telling us, "oh, don't get too many newborn size diapers, because he will be out of them in no time." Well, apparently we are either a)stupid and didn't too many enough or b)Noah was just early so he is wee little lad or c)he is just a pooping machine and we run through them fast.

But whatever the reason, we ran out of newborn diapers in the middle of last night. None. Zero. Zilch! All we had was size 1 and size 2. Well newborn diapers come up past his belly button, so you can only guess what he looked like with the size 1s on. We could have poked holes in the sides and put his arms through them. He was a diaper with a head.

Sidenote to the sidenote: How do people with kids get anything done? You just sit and stare at them. Does it ever get to the point where you are so tired that you go numb and you don't realize how tired you are and you go back to feeling good?

P.P.P.S. Noah has somehow picked up on Zoolander and can do his "Blue Steel" look. I am working on getting it on video for you guys.. I realize Zoolander was quite possible the dumbest movie ever made and I am not endorsing it. My kid is just good at impersonations I guess.

Saudi Dancing Video

In our city they are hosting a Global Village, which is groups from all over gathering for a culural experience. We were able to catch a bit of it on video from our camera. Take a look.

Saudi Dancing Video

God Moments

A group of us are reading through the book of Acts this summer and today we were looking at chapter 16 where Paul and Silas get beaten and chunked in the slammer for casting out an annoying demon from a slave girl.

*sidenote*
I’ve returned to my normal summer schedule today. I am blown away about how long the days seem to be when you don’t sleep as good at night. I don’t know how we are going to make it once school starts back up in a month and a half.
*end of sidenote*

Y’all know the story. They are singing and having church (By church I don’t mean they were singing two hymns and some praise choruses and then someone preached and they took an offering and then went home unchanged, but I mean church, where God was present and they encountered him in a fresh way that rejuvenated their souls in such a way that it cause all the hardened, sissy-hating criminals in the jail with them to listen.)

Then the earthquake came and the doors flew open and the jailor freaked out and Paul told him to get a grip its okay, they were all there. The jailor then came trembling and asked them, “What must I do to be saved?”

That is a difficult concept for me. The last time I saw an earthquake on TV I didn’t see any trembling people asking that question. What was it about the earthquake that hit the jailor and turned him to God?

I am convinced that there are times in life that God shows up in a very real, very tangible way and it not only cannot be discarded as “coincidence” but it even causes unbelievers to fall on their knees and go, “what must I do?” I think any normal person would say, “oh, the earthquake, good luck for the prisoners, bad luck for the guards,” but not this guy he sees the hand of God coming to rescue his captive children and he is all of a sudden faced with the fact that his standing on the wrong side of the battlefield and it freaks him out.

The longer I am here the more I am convinced that “luck” and “coincidence” are nonbeliever terms. Everything is a God moment. God moves and we choose to give him credit/glory or choose to blow him off. I am beginning to see the moments when a taxi driver catches something I’ve said and wants to know more, when a “religious” person hears the Way and isn’t turned off by it, as God moments. Did I catch them on a good day? Maybe he was in a good mood? The answer is God moved and I get to be the earthquake to grab someone’s attention. Coincidence? I think not!

Your Permanent Noah Fix

Off to your right you can see the section for all the Noah videos we have posted thus far. As he makes him, we will post them and then archive them under "Noah's Videos" so you can always have them at your beck and call without having to search our entire blog.

Also we have got some of his photos up on the web in "Our Photos" section to your right as well.

Have a great day!

Paul Obviously Didn't Have Kids

Its funny how time and outlook can change the way you see things. It can even change how you read scripture.

This morning I was reading First Corinthians 7. Its Paul writing to the Corinthians and telling them that it's better to marry than to burn, but if you ain't burnin' than don't get married. (That may be a tad oversimplified, but for time and space concerns that will do.)

I remember reading that in college and asking the question, "Should I get married? If Paul endorses singlehood than I should really look into it, right?"

Well after B and I got married it shed a different light on that scripture. I realized what he meant about married folks have divided interests and wanting to please the spouse and God. That passage had a slightly different meaning to me, but I wasn’t wanting singlehood and I definitely wouldn’t want to got back to it.

Well today was the first time I have read it as a father and I can tell you that this Paul obviously didn't have any biological children. (he said he had many spiritual children, but that’s different. They come physical able to change their own diaper) I read that passage now and think, "if Paul would've had a kid he would have ripped that singleness section out of his letter, because parenthood blows singlehood right out of the water!

I thought I would give you that little tidbit today rather than another Noah video. My reasoning being twofold: 1)he is asleep right now and judging by how tired B looked when I got up this morning I think it would be in my best interest not to wake him and 2)if you get a Noah video everyday then he may just become "old hat" and believe me, my son is not "old hat." Absence makes the heart grow founder. (that’s for you NaNa and Papi/Babi/Poopi or whatever he is going to call you.)

Interview with the Captive

Our reporters were able to catch up to the elusive Noah mid-morning today at his summer home, "The Bed." It was difficult to keep him awake, but I think his answers will shock you.

Noah's Captivity Interview

The Week That Changed My Life

On the eve of Noah’s first week anniversary of existence on this side, I am sitting here pondering what has happened this past week. Last Thursday night I was sitting in a really nice open air coffee shop drinking tea and relaxing without a care in the world.

Tonight I am sitting completely alone in the living room as B is desperately trying to get a measly hour or two of sleep before Noah’s next feeding time.

Things that have happened this week that last week I knew were coming eventually and were told would happen but I didn’t think much about. Those of you that have had kids may just nod your heads and smile knowingly or laugh out loud. Those of you without kids may not get some of this. That’s okay, last week I was clueless too.

*I have changed a diaper.
*I have been taught the correct way to change a diaper
*I have been peed on…. Twice.
*I have been thrown up on.
*I have seen newborn baby poop (you know, the black stuff, hmmm….)
*I have actually listened to the doctor when he talks.
*I have washed my hands after everything because I care where they have been and want them to be clean.
*I have witnessed a circumcision. (Enough said. Wow!)
*I have not slept all the way through the night because I am worried about someone else.
*I have learned how to swaddle a baby.
*I have sought the advice of my parents.
*I have learned how to spell biliruben.

I know I am forgetting a million things, but that’s okay. I am sorry about the pictures. Noah has two modes at this point: ON and OFF. OFF works really well at this point, we are still working on his ON though. He is always asleep. Therefore all of his pics are of him…..asleep.

Prisoner Released!

We were able to bribe a nurse and pay a hefty sum to accounting in order to smuggle little Noah out of the headquarters of his captives. Our reporters tried to catch an interview with the newly released hostage, but upon returning to his house he was promptly fed and fell asleep before we could get a word with him. We are hoping he is more talkitive tomorrow. We will keep you posted.

Psycho Father Steals Son and Burns Down Hospital!

The custody battle for baby Noah rages on and the casualties are piling up on both sides.

Just kidding, no deaths yet.

We are just waiting on his little liver to kick in and start filtering out his belarubens (anybody got a clue how to spell that?) That is what cause Jaundice, belarubens. You know. belarubens. It’s a fun word, see if you can work that into a sentence today.

Anyways, way more important than belarubens smellarubens is our son.

So let’s see more of him! The grandparents wanted more face shots of him, so two days ago (before the Iranian invasion) we shot this video of him and sent it to the folks, but because he has been locked away on the 8th floor of a tower we’ve had little photo opportunities, so we are going to make it available to the public.

This is 100% Noah. No lights, music, or fancy smancy stuff.

Noah Day One

I Feel Your Pain Sally Field

Have you ever seen “Not Without My Daughter”? I feel like Sally Field. Noah has Jaundice, you know where the liver isn’t getting rid of enough dead red blood cells so the skin looks yellowish. Well, because he was three weeks early and the Jaundice factor, he has been under the blue UV “tanning booth” getting his tan on.

Normally I wouldn’t mind that EXCEPT that we came home from the hospital on Sunday morning and little Noah is still locked up with no end in sight. The doctor said that he might be able to come home this morning. Well, yet again, it’s close to midnight and here I sit in a Noah-less house. Alas, the mighty Iranian empire is holding fast to my son. (That is a reference to “Not Without My Daughter.” The Iranian government has nothing to do with our hospital or our son.)

So what do we do? We do what any good parent would do, we march in there and demand our son! “Give me my son you stinkin’ Iranians!” You may laugh, but that thought has crossed my mind. B could act like she is needing to feed him and I could sneak up behind the nurse and konk her on the head with a bed pan and then we could grab him and make a break for it! I’ve sized up the rent-a-cop that guards the front door, I could take him.

Anyway, all that to say that Noah is still taking up residence at the hospital. He should be coming home tomorrow. If not, you can see me on the headlines at CNN.com tomorrow night.

“Psycho Father Steals Son from Hospital and Burns it Down.”

Keep on keepin’ on Sally Field, I feel your pain.

He is Here!

I apologize for the lack of depth or detail to this post other than Noah made it! I am in a hurry to go back and hang with the kid I've been waiting to meet for 9 months.

I also apologize for the cruddiness of the video, but I will make a better one once Noah doesn't have that "just got here jetlagged" look.

Noah Benjamin Video