Legal in Three Countries

Today I went down and picked up my third Drivers License! I am now officially a resident in three different countries and have three sets of IDs. I am thinking about changing my name to Jason Bourne.

The Holy Grail

This isn't about the cup of Christ, or for you psycho DaVinci Code people that can't tell reality from something you read in a book, this isn't about Mary Magdalene either.

It is about the things that elude us the most, and what is eluding me most right now is all the university's paperwork to get a Residency Visa.

And sadly enough, like most of my outings that have anything to do with visas or permits or registering for anything, it takes weeks to get anything done.

So today's account is basically very simple. I went to the office and waited, got a paper, delivered it to the office only to find that this said paper wasn't enough and I need a proof of registration and so on so forth and copies of my passports.

All things boiling down, it comes to this: there was not a single place open that I could make copies, soo....

tomorrow I head back with the copies and everything I need for the university to make a packet for me to take to the Ministry of the Interior where this whole thing really starts.

So in preparation for this fine expedition I have packed my "Holy Grail Survival Kit" to take with me, which includes...

• All of our passports
• Copies of all of our passports
• Marriage License
• Copy of Marriage License
• A Book (it may take a while)
• Noah's Birth Record, Certificate, and Hospital Record (all in both Arabic & English)
• Registration at the University
• 2 passport photos for each of us
• iPOD (did I mention it might take a while?)
• Copies of everything official looking about Noah we own.
• Rent Contract in both Arabic & English
• A Roll of Camper's Toilet Paper (Government buildings never have tp)
• Shot Records for the whole family
• and a Partridge in a Pear Tree!

Truth being what it is about the culture and Murphy's Law being what it is. This will not be enough tomorrow. You never know. :)

Our Visas Are Extended!

We are done!! We managed to lose every single battle and still win the war! These are pictures of all the new stamps we have now in our passports, because we are finally legal tourists. We went to 12 places, encountered close to 20 steps and spent close to 170 dollars in late fees, blood tests, bribes, and transportation. (Just kidding about the bribes. wink wink)

The Ministry of Tourism Strikes Again

Today was the day. Today was the day of victory! I took my test after school and headed to the clinic to pick up our test results. They had changed where you pick up your results, so we had to search until we found it. Once, we found it there were no problems. We get our results and head off to the police station. Once at the police station we see the same guy as always. He looks at it and says, "You are late." Well, yeah, of course we're late; when we started this process over a week ago we were on time.

He told me that I had to go to this other police station to pay my fines and had to be back there by 2pm. It was 1:10pm when he told me this. I run out the door and grab a taxi and head off to this other police station. We get to this neighborhood and hit major traffic and get lost. We end up driving up and down the streets asking for the police station. We finally find it, and guess what? It is closed.....
Not kidding.....
Stop laughing! It's not funny.

So tomorrow B leaves for a conference and will be gone till Sunday evening, meaning that I can't go back to that police station to take care of her passport till Monday, because she needs her passport with her to check in to the hotel. Those three days will cost us another 20 dollars in late fees.

I am beyond yelling and getting mad. All of this is getting so ridiculous that all I can do is laugh. That is either a sign of me adapting to culture or going completely crazy.

So once again, we wait. The good news is by the time the baby comes we will can all go together and get all of our visas worked out, because I am sure we will still be running around looking for something else we need to get square with the Ministry.

The Ministry of Tourism is the Devil

Good news today: We picked up our blood tests from the hospital and we don't have any diseases!

Bad news today: The guy at the police station wouldn't take it because it’s not from the government clinic, even though its the same test. He said it could have been forged, so we had to go to the clinic and fight the crowds and nastiness to get blood drawn yet again. Now both my arms are sore and bruised. Yah, for blood tests!

Good news today: The clinic wasn't very packed. We were in and out in 20 minutes.

Bad news today: We had to go to that stupid clinic in the first place! On top of that, the results won't be ready until Thursday! 4 more days of overdue visa fees!

Good news today: I may be going to Lebanon for the weekend.

Bad news today: I am leaving on Thursday, so I will return and have to go through all of this again. I could have just skipped this whole headache and just paid the fine that I am going to have to pay anyways and saved the 30 bucks for the blood tests and just started over on Sunday when I returned under a new visa.

This is getting flippin' ridiculous.

From now on we are just going straight to the nasty clinic and fight the crowds and dodge the diseases and get the stupid test.

And The Saga Continues....

For those of you losing sleep over this series of unfortunate events concerning our visa extension, I want you to know that if you are seeking a happy and resolved story by the end of this post stop reading here. Go back to work, or studying, or whatever you were doing before and continue with your happy lives for the happiness you seek in the resolve of our issues will not be found here. Search on.

Today, I feel worse than yesterday. :)

Before I go any further I want you to know that I am actually in a good mood while writing this. No yelling or swearing has come from me while thinking back on today.

On with the story...

We get up and head to school. Once we arrive we notice that the rain that was in our neighborhood had turned to specks of ice near the school. We left school early to get a run on this visa process, because it’s Thursday. The normal unpredictability of government business triples on Thursdays.

We returned to the same police station that left me standing outside a locked door yesterday. The door was opened today, so we went in a greeted the guy. He took our passports and told us to that we were a day late in renewing our visas. (Remember, this is the same guy who left early yesterday and made us late!) Because of this tragedy, we were required to go down the hall passing two doors labeled "bomb squad" to the last door on the right. We paid our fine and then returned to the original guy. He began processing our visas and then said, "Where do you live?" I told him and then he said, "no, you must go to a different police station to take care of this." He then handed us our passports back and escorted us out. This wouldn't be a problem except that our friends that live three blocks from us in the same neighborhood always get their visas extended in this same building! So we walk back out into the cold and get a taxi.

We were required to go back to the same station that said that my sick, pregnant wife needed to be present for this whole thing. I knew we wouldn't get any where with them until we get a new blood test. Here is the problem. Usually the blood test from the government clinic takes three days to process as well as is filthy and crowded with thousands of Philipinos and Egyptians getting their blood tests too. This process could take anywhere from an hour to three or four hours. The guy that took my blood last time was smoking while he was pulling the blood out! We were not going back there. So...

We called B's baby doctor to see what he thought. He told us to come up to the hospital and he would give us the test and give us the results today. This is awesome! The Bullions for three!!!! We shoot, we score!!!!

The only problem is that the police station is already closed so I won't be able to be there until Sunday, so I will pay a fine for the next three days and then get it taken care of. Maybe. This is all depending on the cop at the police station.

:) So hug your family and thank the LORD that you don't have to extend you American citizenship.

Stay tuned for "The Ministry of Tourism vs. The Bullions, Sudden Death."

So far the score is:

The Ministry: 3
The Bullions: 1

The Culture Shock Continues.....

The culture shock and, at times, outward rage towards this culture continues from last night. Before you read this understand that it is coming from one who is venting. I am just blowing off steam.

Once upon a time, in a country far, far away, there were two foreigners. These two foreigners loved their host country and thought good thoughts about it all the time. Until one day the evil, evil minister of tourism required them to renew their visas.

Okay, now that you have the background. B and I are both sick. A little head cold in these damp, freezing conditions can last for quite a while. Both of us missed school today and didn't feel good, but because today was the last day to take care of this visa thing before we got deported or fined, I got dressed and headed out the door to the police station. Two things happened on the way to the station. One, I noticed that while it was sunny outside the wind was chilling to the bone. I should have worn more. Two, I noticed off to the west some dark rain clouds. I thought, "oh, that will be nice, some more rain. Good thing I will be back home before that hits."

I arrive at the station frozen and sniffling. I walk into the office that I usually go to and sit down. The guy comes in and I hand him our passports. He then says, "Who is this? This your girlfriend?" He is referring to my pregnant wife's passport. I told him that she wasn't my girlfriend, but my wife. He then asks why she isn't here. I told him that she was pregnant and sick so she couldn't make it. He then proceeded to tell me that she has to be present for this to happen, but he had to take a break from that to allow the guy behind him with 8 passports to get all of his stuff taken care of. That's right. One guy with 8 passports. So Joe Arab is getting his family taken care of without them being there, but me...no way! My sick, pregnant wife has to walk through the cold to be present for this!

I went off on him. I told him, "She is my wife, not my girlfriend. I am the head of that house and she falls under my authority, so I can get her visa renewed and if you want I will bring her sick body up here if you want her to throw up on your desk!" He smiled a little uneasily and then we went on from there.

He then wanted our blood tests so I gave them the ones that we got when we entered the country. He then told me that they were no good because they were old. I told him that the last time I was here he told me to hold on to it because it was good for a year. You know what he said, "Well, yes, but only if you do not leave the country!" Well, then how is it good for a year if you require me to leave the country every six months!!! On top of that, no one else has had to get a blood test.

So I am ticked. I get my passport and my "girlfriend's" passport and head out the door. The rain that wasn't going to come till I got done had hit. I decided to head over to another place that was less strict that alot of the other foreigners use. I grabbed a cab and headed over there.

Once there I read all the signs in Arabic and finally find the right office, but it's shut and locked. I ask the guy next to it and he says, "He will be back later. Go ahead and wait." So I waited, and waited, and waited. Finally, another guy comes and asks the same questions I did and the guy tell him that the officer I needed left for the day and would be back tomorrow. Inshallah! So I asked him again, and then he tells me, "Well the guy went home and won't be back today!" I could have been there for hours and no one would have told me!

I walk back outside with no other options but to go home and go through this process again tomorrow, but by then we will be overdue and have to pay a fine as well as go to yet another station to sit and listen to more excuses why I have to go to some where else.

So I arrive home, mad, wet, and cold only to find that we've run out of gas. No gas means no heat. So I am writing this post still wet, still cold and still mad. I love this country!!!