Hey Blue! What Game You Watchin!?!

Anybody remember Signal? The Little League team that just wouldn't quit? Well, sadly enough, there is no Signal this year. I had several scheduling conflicts with several of the games so I am not coaching this year. Sad day.

BUT I am umpiring 4 or 5 of the coach-pitch games. Today I umped (umped...that can be made a verb, right?) It was great being back and seeing some of my old Signal kids. Some of them have grown up so big and some of them, you remember little Haitham right?, haven't grown a bit.

The game today was a blow out. I just shook the coach's hand after the game and told him that I understood completely. Hang in there.

Signal Team Photo

This is the final post on Signal, the Bad News Bears meet the Sandlot meets Major League. All the photos and trophies came in so we picked them up and will distribute them to the team. I was so relieved when I saw that all the trophies were the same. I had feared that consolation ribbons were in our future, and thank goodness we didn't get a "4th place" trophy. Most of my team didn't know that we lost every game. They didn't know enough of the rules to figure out who won most times, so the trophies will throw them off the trail for a bit longer hopefully.

In reflection though, I would do it again in a heartbeat. Coaching non-competive, clueless munchkins is far better than playing and I enjoyed doing it. So, stayed tune next spring for season 2.

Complete Catch-Up

So, I realize that if this were a mid-afternoon sit-com then it would like one of those that you rush home from school to see (Saved by the Bell, Full House, etc.) and it would be one of those episodes where Zack and Kelly break-up and you are freaking out and then the big "To-Be continued" flashes on the screen and you get mad and through the bag of "RRRuffles with RRRidges" at the TV and scream, "AW man! Come on! Don't do this to me!"

But then you come back the next day and nothing comes on and then the next day and the next day. Nothing. Saved by the Bell communication black out!

I apologize completely. Although I highly doubt any of you are rushing home from Jr. High to read the blog everyday, I feel like I've brought your posting hopes up with Signal's final game, The All-Star game, the Parents coming, and the New House and then.......

nothing....

You've come day after day looking for the resolve of "Zack and Kelly's relationship" and....

Nothing. How rude of me. I realize that none of you are losing sleep, but still it's the principle of it. :)

So this is a "Previously on Two Bull's"

SIGNAL
Signal loses our last game to the number one team (you remember them. The steroid enhanced players of Cozmo) only to team up with them in the All-Star game the next week.

Sidenote: You should have seen our guys with their guys. It was like men teaming up with boys.

But the steroids of Cozmo were no match for the well balanced play of the "Pharm Cord" (the Pharmacy One/Baby Cord mix). We, the Mighty Mighty Sigmo, were defeated in the bottom of the fifth.

Second Sidenote: Haitham, our runt, showed up about half way through the second inning in full uniform, ready to play. Downside: Haitham, while being the most improved player, was not chosen for the All-Star team. I wanted to choose him, but I just couldn't. Too many others on the team deserved the All-Star spot. Sad day. I had to explain to him that he couldn't play in this game, but he was an All-Star in my book. Again, sad day.

THE PARENTS COMING
I am approaching this section with fear and trembling. Between Mom and Dad and their time here I have so many ridiculously hilarious stories. BUT if I were to share them I would embarrass my parents and they in turn would share stories of me from my childhood or post naked baby pictures of me on the web.

Therefore, I will bypass such shenanigans and say that we had a great time. Mom and Dad, thank you so much for the visit. It meant the world to B and me. We look forward to seeing you again soon Lord willing. It was wonderful to have you here and experiencing our world.

THE NEW HOUSE
We have been in the process of moving from a furnished apartment to an unfurnished apartment meaning that we are slowly buying furniture for the house. Example: we've been in the house for two weeks and today I just got a mirror. I walked into the bathroom at Hardee's two days ago and just about scared myself. Me just throwing gel in the hair and shaving without a mirror does not go over well. Trust me.

Last week I had to go to about five different places to pick up a hundred different things, so I had to rent a truck and some movers. Here you don't rent a U-Haul and drive it yourself. You go down to the empty lot where men with big trucks are and you rent them and a couple of Egyptians to do all the work. Well about half way through unloading all of it at the new house I got of good whiff of all the "cigarettes" they had been smoking. Yeah, it was pot. Yeah, I was wondering why they were all in a good mood.

Between the pot smoking movers, the water shooting out from the bottom of the toilet, and the Internet company's, "yeah we are coming tomorrow" for the last week, it’s been a great experience, but the LORD has been good. We are very thankful for the new place. Seriously, it's move than we could have hoped and definitely more than I deserve.


So I hope that catches you up before we start the new season of Two Bulls.

I will do my best to get more posting up once our internet gets working at the new house.

Signal Scares Baby Cord

I don't know how to express this really. I walked off the Sandlot today feeling an overwhelming sense of pride in my guys. At the end of the game, the other team thought they lost because of our team was cheering so loud. Did we win? Not if you count the runs.

Here is the run down of the game.


Top of the First:
2 outs, they have a runner on second. Somehow a switch is flipped and Signal goes crazy and throws the ball everywhere. They score 7 runs. We are saved by the "you can only have 10 batters a inning rule."

Bottom of the First:
We score 3

Top of the Second:
1 out, they have a runner on second. Kid hits the ball, throws the bat and hits our catcher, he is out, but only after a discussion with the umpire, somehow their runner on second scores. Don't ask me how I have no clue. Still workin' on that one. But anyway, we shut them down. Only 1 for them.

Bottom of the Second:
We score 3 again

Top of the Third:
2 outs, runner on second (sound familiar) and they hit a ball to the short stop. He tries to run down the runner headed towards third. When he realizes that he can't tag him five feet from the third basemen he launches it to him. Third baseman of course misses it and the runner heads home, the kid moves from first to second. We explain to our short stop not to do that again. The next batter, THE EXACT SAME THING!. The batter after that? THE EXACT SAME THING! Three plays in a row! Signal then goes into self destruct mode and is saved by the "you can only have 10 batters a inning rule." They scored 6 runs

Bottom of the Third:
3 up, 3 down

Top of the Fourth:
2 outs, runners on 2nd and 3rd. A kid that makes our runt (Haitham) look like a giant, jacks a line drive over our first baseman's head and scores the two runners. Next batter strikes out. We hold them to 2 runs.

So those of you doing the math know that it is now 16 to 6 in the bottom of the last inning. We are only allowed 10 batters, so every single one of our batters not only has to hit, but to score as well. We are sitting at our number 6 batter, meaning we are in the heart of the bottom of our stinky hitters. You can image the miracle it would take for us to tie.

Bottom of the Third:
We had gone through 6 batters and scored 5 runs before they got our first out. We ended the game with all 10 batters hitting the ball and leaving only 2 on base. So we scored 7 runs that last inning and they were saved by the "you only get 10 batters a inning rule!"

So take that! We lost, but we whooped some booty doing it!

Every single one of my kids hit the ball and almost all of them got to score. I didn't strike out a single one of them! After that 10th kid hit a double and scored a runner we were all cheering and yelling and shouting! The other team didn't know they had won the game!

So going into our final game next week against the first place team we are 1-8. I would like nothing better to give the first place team a black eye for the end of the season.

Signal In Slump, Coach Clueless

Usually after a game where we loose I am able to look back as a coach and think about the good things that happened in the game and encourage my kids with that and tell them we can do better and we will get them next time.

The speech after this embarrassing 23-8 lose was simply: "Guys, I will see you at practice. If you don't come then you don't play next week."

My kids gave up. After the second inning they quit. They took the defeat and just didn't care anymore. They took on the persona of "defeated."

We've lost every game save one, and that game was a forfiet!

My kids just don't believe they can win.

Am I a bad coach? Do my kids just suck? What's the deal? What can I do to motivate them?

"Hey, kids if we win this next game I'll take you out for McDonalds?"

Any ideas?

Signal Gets Beat Like a Red Headed Step Child!

The details are just too painful, but apparently we need to check Cozmo for steriods, cause they beat the snot out of us! 22-11.

If we hit good, they hit better. If we played good defense, they were vaccuums sucking up any ball that came near them.

But out of this industrious butt-whippin' we have one very funny story....

Haitham, the runt, is up to bat in the bottom of the first and hits a little dribbler down the first base line. The first basemen catches it and is waiting on the baseline to tag Haitham when he runs, so Haitham, now halfway to first, sees this and turns around and runs back to home, picks up his bat and stands back in the batter's box ready for another pitch. He wanted another try!

Poor kid!

The good news is next at bat he had he hit a dribbler to the massive, steriod taking pitcher and the pitcher over throws first, so Haitham got a double!

All that to say....

We just don't play good on Fridays.

Signal Bats Weren't Enough as Tempers Flare!

So we batted great, we just stink at defense. The concept of catching the ball and making a nice, good throw to first base hasn't caught on yet.

The encouraging thing is that we've lost every game in the bottom of the third, by one run. We always have the lead and just can't hold it. Yesterday was no expection. We are up 10 to 8 bottom of the third and they scored two, then loaded the bases with two outs. 10-10 bases loaded, so I called a timeout and explained to the team that if the guy on third scored the game was over, so no matter who got it, throw it home.

Well the kid hits a little drippler to the pitcher and it was a foot race to home and the runner beat our pitcher. Game over.

But, that is not what everyone will be talking about though. You see the rules are. The play is not dead until the pitcher has the ball standing on the pitcher's mound. Until that moment you can run all you want to. It is also a courtesy rule that since we all know that our catcher's don't really have a clue whats going on you don't send a kid home if the ball is in the infield. If it's an overthrown ball sure, send em, but if you have a guy second and the ball is hit to the pitcher and he throws it to first and the runner advanced from second to third then you assume if the first basement caught it, that in real baseball he could throw you out if you sent the kid on third home. That's the courtesy rule.

It is abused?.....heck yeah!! We send em home and so do the other teams! Shoot, in a league where you can score 8 or 9 runs in an inning and lose a lead that big just as quick, you send em' home baby! This ain't kid stuff! This is BASEBALL!!

Anyway, what happen was they had a kid on second and the ball was hit to the pitcher. The pitcher throws the ball to the firstbaseman, who catches the ball, but is bumped by the runner and trips over the bag, but holds onto the ball. The runner is out!

However, the runner on second safely made it to third and seeing that our first baseman, wasn't paying attention, but basking in the moment of glory, the coach sent the kid home. Of course he scores and they are happy. Good call Coach! I salute you.

Anyways, one of my dad's that is helping out on the field (This guy is really intense. He is like a marine or something) gets rubbed by this and starts yelling at the other coach. The other coach ignores it and is getting ready to pitch to the next batter. Well, the dad keeps on and finally the coach turns around and confronts him. So, I have not an assistant coach verbally attacking the other team's coach on the pitchers mound, but a volunteer dad. Who I asked to help out!

I go running over there to try to intervene and they are by this time yelling loudly at each other. I am not confrotantion! Well, I jumped in the middle of them and told the dad to lower his voice and we'll talk about this later. The umpire gets there and is asking questions, because he is from Holland and really doens't have much of an idea about the rules of baseball, and the dad finally sees he is fixing either to get thrown off the field by me or the umpire and says, "f&*^ it I'm leaving!"

The coach is still ticked so he begins giving me a piece of his mind and I agreed with him! It took a moment for him to calm down, but I finally convinced him we were on the same side of the issue and he needed to stop yelling in front of the kids.

Finally, the inning was over and I talked with the dad and told him that he had better check his super-competitive spirit at the gate next time he comes or he won't be watching his son play at all. Yeah, he didn't take me seriously. Figures.

So, all that said I had an angry parent on the sidelines the rest of game rallying the other parents for his cause. Then, we lose by ONE point. One point! So you know what he says to me at the end of the game, "yeah, thats the kind of crap I'm talking about."

I could've hit him. Good thing there were kids around, because if I had hitten him......he would have killed me.

Ending on a happy note: If you want to see more pics from the game check out our photo album to your right.

The Practice After a Defeat

I have been meaning to post this for three days, but everytime I get to it, it is late, or I forget it, or something else random happens.

So it is two days after it occurred, but it still is quite funny.

First, I walked into our practice field on Monday for the long, grueling practice after a defeat. The grass, well they were more like man-eating weeds, were knee and in some places waist high! It's in a walled in area, so it doesn't get much wind. I was in there maybe 5 minutes and my eyes started swelling and I couldn't breath. I ran across the street to the pharmacy and communicated that I was dying and anything she could do to assist me would be greatly appreciated. So I got some feel good drugs and headed back to the field.

The grass made it difficult to catch grounders and not to mention find the bases. We lost three balls during the course of practice.

Now, the story...

My runt (you may remember him from the one who when chased between the bases tends to flee to the outfield screaming or from him standing on the wrong side of the plate facing the wrong way) was playing pitcher for me. Well one of my girls hits a little dribbler down the first base line, so Haitham (runt) gets to it about the same time she is running by him. Instead of just reaching out and tagging her, which seemed logical to me, he throws the ball full force at her and beams her on the elbow. I guess that seemed logical to him.

So I have a girl laying on the ground screaming and Haitham jumping up and down, dancing, and screaming (in a bad Arab accent) Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah! because he thinks he got her out.

What was just as funny was all the American parents there, just about died laughing. All the Arab parents were confused that she wasn't out. We can only get better! Keep telling yourself that as you are placing your bets. We can only get better!

We are going into this match-up on Friday 3rd in the league of 4. Signal needs this game to create a tie for second place.

I'll keep you posted.

Victory Slips Away from Signal

I don't know what it is, but we are not good as the visiting team. We need to be the home team. Apparently while I was away we had a game and the other team had to forfeit from lack of players, so we are now 1-2.

Despite the crushing defeat we had some really good plays, and some really funny ones as well.

Good plays
*Bases-loaded and my 3rd basemen hits a triple!
*We batted the entire line-up the first inning!
*My 3rd basemen ran down a runner headed for home and dove and tagged him!
*I only struck out 2 of my kids.
*Every kid on the team got a hit.


Not so good plays
* We are on second. No one on first. No force. The ball is hit to the 3rd basemen, my kid on second takes off to third. I am yelling at him to stop and go back to second. The whole time the 3rd basemen is bobbling the ball. My kid finally realizes that I am yelling for him to stop, so he does, RIGHT NEXT TO THE 3RD BASEMEN. He just stands there. The 3rd basemen, who is clueless as well, throws the ball to first, and I final get my kid to third.

* My left fielder kept scooting up as the inning progressed. I would look up and she would be standing next to my short-stop. Finally I drew a circle in the dirt in left field and wrote her initials in it. I told her not to leave the circle. Well, you can guess what happen next. The ball is hit 5 feet from her and she stays in the circle. She reaches for it and misses and then watches as the ball rolls by her. My 2nd basemen finally ran out there and got it.

*We are batting and the catcher is throwing the ball back to me and beams my batter with the ball.

*The right handed runt on my team comes up to the plate and stands in the left handers batter box with his back to the plate in the ready stance.


Despite the defeat my kids have improved 200% since the last game. I am excited to see them by the end of the season.

Signal Looses Season Opener Against Cozmo

Well, there went our perfect season! My kids gave it their all, but the kids on Cozmo just out hit us.
For those of you that are thinking that our team names are stupid, you are right. We are all named after our sponser company, so my team is Signal. We are....a toothpaste. Arrrr....run and hide the toothpaste team is coming. Scary huh?

But seriously, the kids did great! We lost in the bottom of the third. (we only got three innings in, in the 1.5 hour time limit. The final score was 11-12. My kids hit really well, they just were out matched. The team we played had only 12 kids and most of them have played before. We were just no match for their experience. Not to mention our pitcher (me) stinks. I managed to strike out 3 of my own kids.

Next week I won't see the game because I will be out of the country, but next Friday Signal will take on Baby Cord! I hope it will go well. I will be back in time for our showdown with Pharmacy 1 though.

Below are some photos. I was meaning to get a video of it, but things got hectic this morning and I forgot the video camera. Sorry. Better luck next time.

Pre Game Strategy

A Little Pre Game Warm-Up

Where's My Left Fielder

Second Practice and Poll Results

The results are in and they have been tallied. Before I tell you, or before you scroll down and look... I want to tell you about our second practice in preparation for our game on Friday. We were trying to do some batting/fielding practice. You know, they hit it and run to first base and the infield tries to catch it and if they do that then they try throw it to first. If they do all of that correctly and in a timely manner, then the first basemen tries to catch it. Needless to say our firstbasemen was bored out of his mind.

We have a kid on our time is just barely eight and is a runt. He is a really cute kid, but doens't know anything about baseball or about English. He got up to the plate and hit one. It barely trickled up to the pitcher's mound. He took off towards first as fast as he could screaming from excitement. About 4 feet from first he turns and heads to second. About half way there he runs three steps towards third and books it towards home. He gets home and stops screaming. That was only his first hit.

After this I told him to just run to first and stop and stand on the base and listen to me. He gets another hit and goes running off to first. The pitcher grabs the ball and instead of throwing it to first, starts running after him, so what does shortie do? He runs right by first and into the shallow outfield and heads towards second. In the meanwhile all the kids are jumping up and down and screaming and the pitcher is chasing shortie all over the outfield until he reaches second where I grab him and hold him on the base. We are doomed!

So here are your votes. It's too late to change them.

Our First Practice

We had our first Little League Coach Pitch Baseball practice last night. Needless to say, I was pretty confident in my abilities to coach until the kids began to show up. I have so many stories from those two hours alone it is hard to know where to begin.

Here are some of my observations after the first practice.
*I have 14 kids. 6-8 year olds 5-9 years olds, and 3-10 years olds

*I have 6 girls and 8 boys.

*I have 5 Americans, 8 Arabs, and 1 Iranian.

*Only 4 of them have played before.

*Only 6 brought a glove. Most didn't know they needed one.

*Most of them speak some English. Three of them for sure don't have a clue what I am saying, and as many at 7 are confused the majority of the time.

*I don't speak whatever language they speak in Iran


Here are some phrases in Arabic that I now know that I dont know.
*Stand arms-length apart

*Keep your feet shoulder's width apart.

*Keep your weight on your back leg.

*Take a knee

*Run a lap.

*Swing the bat level.

*The word for "base." You know, first base, second base, etc. So that was ackward, "After you hit the ball, go to...uh....go over there."


With all that said... it's going to be fun. Read the post below this one and cast your vote. Feel free to express how well you think we are going to do. It won't hurt my feelings. The kids are having fun, so I am happy.

How Will We Do?

Since you've read about all the things that are completely backwards about our team. How do you think we will do? What will our final record be? The first number represents "Wins," and the second represents "Loses" For example, 0-8 means "no wins and 8 loses."

A. 0-8

B. 2-6

C. 4-4

D. 6-2

E. 8-0

Vote by clicking on the comment link below.

Coach Clayton

I just got off the phone with the director of the Little League here, apparently I am now a coach. I have a team of 12 kids from ages 8-10. I just wanted to let you guys know. Once a week 2.5 Bulls will briefly turn into Arab ESPN to cover all the ins and outs of the upcoming Arab Little League Season. Stay tuned.