I was in a taxi heading home from another day of school and a trip out to the American Embassy again, to pick another form and to fill out. Needless to say, it had been an experience. The embassy always takes something out of me. I guess the fact that they don’t let you go to the gift shop without an invitation or an employee of the embassy. I don’t know. I keep thinking, “Wait, this is my embassy. Why can’t I go to my own gift shop?” Anyway back to my taxi ride.
On the major street through our neighborhood there is a fairly big and rather nice median. It has trees planted in it and a place for you to stand to avoid the millions of drivers zooming in and out of traffic. At the traffic light the median stops and beyond the traffic light they are building one. Today I thought that maybe that would be a good conversation started, so I said, “That is going to look nice when they are done with it yeah?” Well, obliviously my Arabic stinks because I was talking with my hands and apparently the driver thought I said, “NO! QUICK PULL A U-TURN AND STOP HERE!!!!” So, of course what happened? He pulled a u-e and nearly killed us.
I wet myself and then went on to tell him that I didn’t live here and I wanted to go straight. He looked at my like I was stupid and then commenced to back down the street we just came down the wrong way until he could turn around to go the correct way. Yeah, I nearly died....... Twice!
The good news is that I learned what to call the median in the road. I still don’t know the word for it, but I know how to say “between” now. So next time I will say, “Hey, what do you call that thing “between” the two streets?” I never knew a simple word could save lives.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
He Was Injured Video
I obtained this video from a friend. Feel free to watch it over and over and over again. It will brighten any day.
He was Injured Video
He was Injured Video
Monday, November 21, 2005
The Sky is Falling
Due to the change of weather and the fact that we think the Middle is always hot and dry. We decided to make a video. Remember this a joke video, so if the acting looks really bad, remember...er....we meant to do like that.
The Sky is Falling Video
The Sky is Falling Video
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Quirks at the Grocery Store
I found this humorous, so I thought you might laugh with us. Because of the recent bombings in our city we have had an increase in security in many of the more populated places in town. i.e. the mall. We have to go through a metal detector and then get patted down before entering the mall. No big deal. I understand.
Today we went to Safeway to pick up some groceries for our potluck supper tonight. That’s right, I said potluck. Apparently it is an international plague sweeping from country to country. That’s right, hide your wee ones. This post may be too graphic for the shorties.
Anyway….back to Safeway...
We picked up our cart outside the store and ran by the ATM to pick up some money. The ATM is right by the main entrance in the patio area. Well, Safeway has obvisouly bumped up their security as well. They are now the proud owners of a brand new metal detector for the door. Well that’s peachy and all, but the shopping carts here are made of metal. So put this image in your mind. B and I are standing by the ATM and women after women are flowing into Safeway with the shopping carts. BEEEEEEEEP, BEEEEEEEEEP, goes the metal detector. I put my debit card in. BEEEEEEP, BEEEEEEEP goes the metal detector. I am serious. These are not just the normal, “oops I walked through and my belt buckle set it off for a split second. I am talking about loud, 2 to 3 second longs beeps. So we get our money and are ready to run through and make the machine go BEEEEEEEEP, BEEEEEEEEEP. We walk through and guess what? There isn’t a soul on the other side that is checking people. I mean I could have walked through there with a ton of explosives on me and it would have gone off, but no one was there.
I love this country. It has all the latest technology.
Arabs apparently don’t bag well either. You go to Wal-Mart in the States and the cashier tries to put your cheese in the same bag with your dryer sheets you can through a fit and its okay. If they smash your bread you can complain, but not here…oh no. No pre-hiring sacker training, no long list of do’s and don’ts. Nothing. They always seem to mix it all up smash our bread and use as many bags as possible.
We walked out of there today and I was thinking, “Man, these are a lot of bags. I didn’t think we got that much stuff.” Well turns out we didn’t. I had bought two sticks of deodorant. I found a kind of like so I bought two. You never know about availability here. You had better get it when you find it. Last week they had Fritos. This week.. yup, you guessed it. No Fritos. But, both of my deodorants were in bags by themselves. The hot sauce was a loner too. We did however get both the milks in the same bag.
Like I said before, “I love this country!”
Today we went to Safeway to pick up some groceries for our potluck supper tonight. That’s right, I said potluck. Apparently it is an international plague sweeping from country to country. That’s right, hide your wee ones. This post may be too graphic for the shorties.
Anyway….back to Safeway...
We picked up our cart outside the store and ran by the ATM to pick up some money. The ATM is right by the main entrance in the patio area. Well, Safeway has obvisouly bumped up their security as well. They are now the proud owners of a brand new metal detector for the door. Well that’s peachy and all, but the shopping carts here are made of metal. So put this image in your mind. B and I are standing by the ATM and women after women are flowing into Safeway with the shopping carts. BEEEEEEEEP, BEEEEEEEEEP, goes the metal detector. I put my debit card in. BEEEEEEP, BEEEEEEEP goes the metal detector. I am serious. These are not just the normal, “oops I walked through and my belt buckle set it off for a split second. I am talking about loud, 2 to 3 second longs beeps. So we get our money and are ready to run through and make the machine go BEEEEEEEEP, BEEEEEEEEEP. We walk through and guess what? There isn’t a soul on the other side that is checking people. I mean I could have walked through there with a ton of explosives on me and it would have gone off, but no one was there.
I love this country. It has all the latest technology.
Arabs apparently don’t bag well either. You go to Wal-Mart in the States and the cashier tries to put your cheese in the same bag with your dryer sheets you can through a fit and its okay. If they smash your bread you can complain, but not here…oh no. No pre-hiring sacker training, no long list of do’s and don’ts. Nothing. They always seem to mix it all up smash our bread and use as many bags as possible.
We walked out of there today and I was thinking, “Man, these are a lot of bags. I didn’t think we got that much stuff.” Well turns out we didn’t. I had bought two sticks of deodorant. I found a kind of like so I bought two. You never know about availability here. You had better get it when you find it. Last week they had Fritos. This week.. yup, you guessed it. No Fritos. But, both of my deodorants were in bags by themselves. The hot sauce was a loner too. We did however get both the milks in the same bag.
Like I said before, “I love this country!”
Friday, November 18, 2005
Some Things are Just Easier in the States
If something goes wrong with you computer what do you do? You call the 800 Customer Services line and get on hold for several hours then finally talk to someone and eventually it gets fixed. Not bad. If you need to book a flight you go to Travelocity or a travel agent and take care of it. Not bad eh? This is a collection of stories that make life here really funny/frustrating.
Dell doesn't ship here
Did you know that if you get an international warranty that it may just be a "semi-international" warranty? A friend’s Dell computer came down with a cold and so we called Dell's 800 number from here to get them to get someone out here to fix it. That's what you do with an international warranty. Well, after four hours they told us they can't send someone out, and they can't ship to our country because of export clause. They can export to Israel, so if we can get to Israel they can ship the parts. Well that’s great. We would love to go through war zones to pick up a bunch of computer parts only to drive through the war zones again just to try to put them in ourselves. Yeah, great idea. Not!!!! As of right now the computer is still sick and various ideas are being hatched on getting it to surgery.
The American Embassy
I am an American Citizen! I am. I carry an American Passport and speak Texas English. I look like an American and definitely sound like an American. I had to run to the Embassy here to get more pages put in my passport (yes, I am very proud of that). Well our embassy here looks like a huge fortress. Going in I had to go through two pat downs and several metal detectors and they scanned my bags twice and took my mobile and my iPod. They all tried to talk to me in Arabic and weren’t very nice. I was thinking, “Hey, this is my embassy! What am I going to do to it?” Well I get in and I don’t see a single white person! Everybody there was Arab. Even in the citizen section. I thought that was cool, but it really was a bit aggravating. I thought I was going to be able to talk to an Embassy person in English without an accent. Nope. I was wrong. Even the magazines in the waiting room were in Arabic.
Well the next day I had to come back to pick up my passport and they looked at me real suspicious when I said I was a citizen but I didn’t have my passport because it was inside. Again I think, “Hmmm… if it looks like a American, talks like an American, and is trying to get in the American Embassy, then what do you think he is?” But I got in and retrieved my passport, therefore all is well.
Another Embassy Story
I am trying to get a transit visa through one of our neighboring countries to I can visit some friends on the other side. If I do this then I pay 80 bucks for a bus ticket instead of 350 bucks for a plane ticket. If you think the American Embassy story was bad. This place had a huge steel gate that you go and knock on. Then they open a little eye hole and ask what you want. If they don’t like you or what you want doesn’t make sense then they shut it and game over. If you say something that makes some reasonable sense then they let you continue to talk. Then they tell you no and shut the eye whole. Out of three weeks of trying by several of us, only one of us has gotten in, but that was only to be told that we came at the wrong time and come back earlier in the morning. This week I went and they told me to go across the street and check there. I got and they tell me that I have to go to my embassy. So while I was there at my embassy I asked and of course I was struggling with the lady there because she, as I said before, had a thick accent. Eventually I got the point though: they said that they couldn’t help me. So…I gave up.
Yeah Right! You know how stubborn I am. So I called the Embassy that was in D.C. and guess what? They apparently just have a phone number for grins, because they don’t answer it. But I’ve got a few more cards to play and we will see.
Travel Agents
So in light of my troubles with transit visas I thought it wise to reserve airline tickets. I went to my travel agent and in a rough conversation with my broken Arabic and her heavy accented English I was able to get the tickets reserved. A week late I had to come back and change the dates. Well she told me that they didn’t have any flights the day before. I asked if she was sure and she said that she was sure. So I gave up again. And then I went home and check with her website for the airline company. Yeah, I found flights for the dates I wanted.
In Conclusion
Life here is a big miscommunication. If Dell could understand that Israel is dangerous and we ain’t going there, if the American Embassy security guards would let me into my own embassy without treating me like a criminal, and if I could speak Arabic then all my lives problems would be solved. Well at least I would know what’s going on then. But if that happens, then what are you guys going to be able to laugh about.
Dell doesn't ship here
Did you know that if you get an international warranty that it may just be a "semi-international" warranty? A friend’s Dell computer came down with a cold and so we called Dell's 800 number from here to get them to get someone out here to fix it. That's what you do with an international warranty. Well, after four hours they told us they can't send someone out, and they can't ship to our country because of export clause. They can export to Israel, so if we can get to Israel they can ship the parts. Well that’s great. We would love to go through war zones to pick up a bunch of computer parts only to drive through the war zones again just to try to put them in ourselves. Yeah, great idea. Not!!!! As of right now the computer is still sick and various ideas are being hatched on getting it to surgery.
The American Embassy
I am an American Citizen! I am. I carry an American Passport and speak Texas English. I look like an American and definitely sound like an American. I had to run to the Embassy here to get more pages put in my passport (yes, I am very proud of that). Well our embassy here looks like a huge fortress. Going in I had to go through two pat downs and several metal detectors and they scanned my bags twice and took my mobile and my iPod. They all tried to talk to me in Arabic and weren’t very nice. I was thinking, “Hey, this is my embassy! What am I going to do to it?” Well I get in and I don’t see a single white person! Everybody there was Arab. Even in the citizen section. I thought that was cool, but it really was a bit aggravating. I thought I was going to be able to talk to an Embassy person in English without an accent. Nope. I was wrong. Even the magazines in the waiting room were in Arabic.
Well the next day I had to come back to pick up my passport and they looked at me real suspicious when I said I was a citizen but I didn’t have my passport because it was inside. Again I think, “Hmmm… if it looks like a American, talks like an American, and is trying to get in the American Embassy, then what do you think he is?” But I got in and retrieved my passport, therefore all is well.
Another Embassy Story
I am trying to get a transit visa through one of our neighboring countries to I can visit some friends on the other side. If I do this then I pay 80 bucks for a bus ticket instead of 350 bucks for a plane ticket. If you think the American Embassy story was bad. This place had a huge steel gate that you go and knock on. Then they open a little eye hole and ask what you want. If they don’t like you or what you want doesn’t make sense then they shut it and game over. If you say something that makes some reasonable sense then they let you continue to talk. Then they tell you no and shut the eye whole. Out of three weeks of trying by several of us, only one of us has gotten in, but that was only to be told that we came at the wrong time and come back earlier in the morning. This week I went and they told me to go across the street and check there. I got and they tell me that I have to go to my embassy. So while I was there at my embassy I asked and of course I was struggling with the lady there because she, as I said before, had a thick accent. Eventually I got the point though: they said that they couldn’t help me. So…I gave up.
Yeah Right! You know how stubborn I am. So I called the Embassy that was in D.C. and guess what? They apparently just have a phone number for grins, because they don’t answer it. But I’ve got a few more cards to play and we will see.
Travel Agents
So in light of my troubles with transit visas I thought it wise to reserve airline tickets. I went to my travel agent and in a rough conversation with my broken Arabic and her heavy accented English I was able to get the tickets reserved. A week late I had to come back and change the dates. Well she told me that they didn’t have any flights the day before. I asked if she was sure and she said that she was sure. So I gave up again. And then I went home and check with her website for the airline company. Yeah, I found flights for the dates I wanted.
In Conclusion
Life here is a big miscommunication. If Dell could understand that Israel is dangerous and we ain’t going there, if the American Embassy security guards would let me into my own embassy without treating me like a criminal, and if I could speak Arabic then all my lives problems would be solved. Well at least I would know what’s going on then. But if that happens, then what are you guys going to be able to laugh about.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Quirks of the Life
Winter has landed. We are living a house with no central heating. Our house, well all house here, are made of cinder blocks. There is literally no insulation. Our houses closely resemble stone ovens in the summer and coolers in the winter. We are cold! It is colder in our house than it is outside. And get this we only have luke-warm water in the bathtub. We do dishes in our cold water. Our hands are frozen. For heating we have Sawbas. They are similar to the old gas space heaters some houses have back in the States. These have wheels and a space to set a gas can on the back, so it is portable. So we thought it would be fun to tell you some of our quirks. These are best if you can picture our faces as we encounter such obstacles.
Dishes
In order to do dishes with semi hot water we have to take our big pot and set it in the tub and fill it up with hot water. This is quite difficult to lug a pot of hot water back and forth between the bathroom and the kitchen.
We also have poor water pressure in the sink. Things that are difficult to rinse like strainers and big pots that don’t fit in the sink we have to take to the shower to rinse off because the water pressure it better.
Showers
Remember I said we only had luke warm water. Imagine a freezing cold tile house and picture a shower that is pretty wide open and only luke-warm water. By the time the water gets to you it is cold. To solve this we push one of our Sawbas into our little bathroom and crank it up. This is the only way we can manage without getting pneumonia.
It could be worse. We are thankful for our house and all the great “character building” we are going through.
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