If something goes wrong with you computer what do you do? You call the 800 Customer Services line and get on hold for several hours then finally talk to someone and eventually it gets fixed. Not bad. If you need to book a flight you go to Travelocity or a travel agent and take care of it. Not bad eh? This is a collection of stories that make life here really funny/frustrating.
Dell doesn't ship here
Did you know that if you get an international warranty that it may just be a "semi-international" warranty? A friend’s Dell computer came down with a cold and so we called Dell's 800 number from here to get them to get someone out here to fix it. That's what you do with an international warranty. Well, after four hours they told us they can't send someone out, and they can't ship to our country because of export clause. They can export to Israel, so if we can get to Israel they can ship the parts. Well that’s great. We would love to go through war zones to pick up a bunch of computer parts only to drive through the war zones again just to try to put them in ourselves. Yeah, great idea. Not!!!! As of right now the computer is still sick and various ideas are being hatched on getting it to surgery.
The American Embassy
I am an American Citizen! I am. I carry an American Passport and speak Texas English. I look like an American and definitely sound like an American. I had to run to the Embassy here to get more pages put in my passport (yes, I am very proud of that). Well our embassy here looks like a huge fortress. Going in I had to go through two pat downs and several metal detectors and they scanned my bags twice and took my mobile and my iPod. They all tried to talk to me in Arabic and weren’t very nice. I was thinking, “Hey, this is my embassy! What am I going to do to it?” Well I get in and I don’t see a single white person! Everybody there was Arab. Even in the citizen section. I thought that was cool, but it really was a bit aggravating. I thought I was going to be able to talk to an Embassy person in English without an accent. Nope. I was wrong. Even the magazines in the waiting room were in Arabic.
Well the next day I had to come back to pick up my passport and they looked at me real suspicious when I said I was a citizen but I didn’t have my passport because it was inside. Again I think, “Hmmm… if it looks like a American, talks like an American, and is trying to get in the American Embassy, then what do you think he is?” But I got in and retrieved my passport, therefore all is well.
Another Embassy Story
I am trying to get a transit visa through one of our neighboring countries to I can visit some friends on the other side. If I do this then I pay 80 bucks for a bus ticket instead of 350 bucks for a plane ticket. If you think the American Embassy story was bad. This place had a huge steel gate that you go and knock on. Then they open a little eye hole and ask what you want. If they don’t like you or what you want doesn’t make sense then they shut it and game over. If you say something that makes some reasonable sense then they let you continue to talk. Then they tell you no and shut the eye whole. Out of three weeks of trying by several of us, only one of us has gotten in, but that was only to be told that we came at the wrong time and come back earlier in the morning. This week I went and they told me to go across the street and check there. I got and they tell me that I have to go to my embassy. So while I was there at my embassy I asked and of course I was struggling with the lady there because she, as I said before, had a thick accent. Eventually I got the point though: they said that they couldn’t help me. So…I gave up.
Yeah Right! You know how stubborn I am. So I called the Embassy that was in D.C. and guess what? They apparently just have a phone number for grins, because they don’t answer it. But I’ve got a few more cards to play and we will see.
Travel Agents
So in light of my troubles with transit visas I thought it wise to reserve airline tickets. I went to my travel agent and in a rough conversation with my broken Arabic and her heavy accented English I was able to get the tickets reserved. A week late I had to come back and change the dates. Well she told me that they didn’t have any flights the day before. I asked if she was sure and she said that she was sure. So I gave up again. And then I went home and check with her website for the airline company. Yeah, I found flights for the dates I wanted.
In Conclusion
Life here is a big miscommunication. If Dell could understand that Israel is dangerous and we ain’t going there, if the American Embassy security guards would let me into my own embassy without treating me like a criminal, and if I could speak Arabic then all my lives problems would be solved. Well at least I would know what’s going on then. But if that happens, then what are you guys going to be able to laugh about.
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