Why Children Shouldn't Sit Next to You

We moved Noah's "little boy" highchair from the end of the table between B and I and turned it into Noah's "big boy" booster seat that now sits next to Daddy. That was a good idea.

Then today Noah decided to paint my dress shirt's right sleeve with Domino's pizza sauce as he was digging into his own slice.....

Big Boy Schmig Boy. Need to get that kid a straight jacket while eating!

The "Why in the Heck isn't Nathanael Here" Ultrasound!

If you are familiar with ultrasounds, then you know that reading them can be tricky. The first several months you don't know if what you are looking at is, in fact, your child or just a dope-head's black & white stab at modern art.

Then you move to the middle months where you've had some practice at it, you actually can see a developing baby, and you can actually nod your head in agreement when the doctor says, "oh, look the feet" without lying through your teeth.

Oh if only that was the case with Nathanael today! Nathanael is so big that we've reached the stage where all we see is part of a leg, or part of his head. It was like looking from the other side of a one way mirror when some fat kid smashes his face up against it on the other side. Extreme close-ups! Our kid has officially moved into needing a wide screen ultrasound just to see him!

The good news is that B and Nathanael are both very healthy. Doc says that if Nathanael doesn't surrender and come out with his hands up by next Sunday the 8th, then we're sending in the search and rescue team.

The King and Rocky

What does the King and I starring Deborah Kerr and Yul Brynner and Rocky Balboa with Sylvester Stallone have in common? Very, very little, save the fact that Noah sat through and watched both of them.

Now the guys reading this will of course ask, "you let your son, whom you love, watch The King and I? Do you want him to grow up and be a dancing fairy?" And of course, the girls will say, "Rocky Balboa? Then he will learn how to hit and be violent!"

So my answer to both of these groups is, "heck yah! He is going to be an athletic dancing fairy with a mean left hook!" Don't mess with Noah "Bone Crusher" Bullion.....starring in the Broadway Musical..... :)

Noah learned two extremely important things from both of these movies. If you remember in The King and I every body had to bow before the king. It was the part of the movie when all the royal children come and are being presented before Ms. Anna. We looked over and noticed Noah was bowing every time one of the kids came in and bowed before the king. They would come in and bow, Noah would bow down. They would get up, Noah would get up. Next kid...same thing. On this went through the entire movie. The king comes in, Noah bows.

From Rocky Balboa he DID learn how to throw a jab much to my cheek's dismay, but during the credits they show all these fans running up the steps in Philly and raising their arms cheering. So Noah can now raise his hands like Rocky and cheer.

Bowing in humility, hands raised in triumph. Sounds like he is ready to worship.

Two Roald Dahl Poems

I just read these to Noah and they made me smile.

HICKETY, PICKETY
Hickety, pickety, my black hen,
She lays eggs for gentlemen.
Not for ladies? That's absurd!
What a chauvinistic bird.

THE CROCODILE
No animal is half so vile
As Crocky-Wock the crocodile.
On Saturdays he likes to crunch
Six juicy children for his lunch,
And he especially enjoys
Just three of each, three girls, three boys.
He smears the boys (to make them hot)
With mustard from the mustard pot.
But mustard doesn't go with girls,
It tastes all wrong with plaits and curls.
With them, what goes extremely well
Is butterscotch and caramel.
It's such a super marvelous treat
When boys are hot and girls are sweet.
At least that's Crocky's point of view.
He ought to know. He's had a few.
That's all for now. It's time for bed
Lie down and rest your sleepy head..
Ssh! Listen! What is that I hear
Gallumphing softly up the stair?
Go lock the door and fetch my gun!
Go on, child, hurry! Quickly, run!
No, stop! Stand back! He's coming in!
Oh, look, that greasy greenish skin!
The shining teeth, the greedy smile!
It's CROCKY-WOCK, THE CROCODILE!